For The Love Of God, Satan and The Winchesters
by WhenFandomsArise
Summary: Sam and Dean encounter a girl oblivious to the supernatural world. One accident leads to Sam and Dean having to stick around, revealing that she is far more tangled up in their world than she thought. Sam, Dean and Cas are stood on the edge of something dangerous, trying to stop themselves and their new found friend from falling too far down. After all, Satan does love a bad girl.
1. Chapter 1 - Welcome To The Group

_This story does not fit any where into the timeline of the show. I don't own any of the characters apart from my OC._

 _Enjoy!_

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Chapter One - Welcome To The Group

I looked around the dull diner, studying each small detail in complete boredom. I was bent over, leaning on my hand on top of the counter, trying to stop my eyes from looking at the clock. I was fifteen minutes off the end of my shift. If I could make it that long without getting a customer, I would be fine. I could go home, pull my hair up into a stupid looking ponytail, put on something comfortable and take off these goddamn high heels. Before this job, I had never worn high heels. But finding a job was difficult, and according to the manager of this diner, appearance was everything. The conditions of this godawful job were high-heels, a full face of make-up, a short dress and _flirting._ Yes, flirting. I had barely believed it myself when the manager had said it so casually in the interview. Apparently, around here that's how it goes. You look pretty and you flirt, they eat it up and they pay. Money meant survival and my goal was to survive. My eyes slid lazily to the clock and I observed that I now had ten minutes left. I straightened up and smoothed down my skirt as customers entered the rustic, yet still somehow slightly modern, cafe. Two men sat down on a four seater table. I plastered on my tip-winning smile and strode over to where two men had sat down. I managed to look confident, even though I was cautious and terrified with every step I took in the mountains of hell on my feet. I mustered my fake but authentic southern twang and squared my shoulders.

"Hey y'all. My name's Nissa, I'll be looking after you two lovely boys today" I winked at the one with the beard, clearly spotting that he was far more interested on what was on my menu then the one he was currently reading. Sometimes I was surprised by my ability to easily lie, to pretend to be someone that I'm nothing like. 'Nissa', the name I adopted with the job, was someone very different from Clarissa.

"Hello Sweetheart" I knew he wanted to flirt. I cast him a sickly sweet smile and my eyes glance over to the other man, who is clearly not interested in my act. I frown but quickly cover it up, normally this act worked on everyone - they are clearly not from around here.

"What can I get you cutiepie" I turned my attention back to other man. He had hard eyes, as if nothing in the world could surprise or hurt him. He had careful stubble scattered long his jawline and around his mouth. He had a smug smile on but It doesn't seem to take permanent residence on his face, making it seem less harsh. He begins to tell me his order and I take note of it quickly, all the while remaining in character. I turn to the other boy, who seems kind but forlorn. He gives me his order and I smile at him again.

"Is that all I can get you two?" I say in an upbeat, jolly voice. They nod and I continue to plaster the smile on my face.

"Can I grab your name, sweetie?" I ask the responsive one, who smiles back at me.

"I'm Dean" he introduces himself. My eyes move to the other one,

"and you, honey?" I ask sweetly.

"Sam" he smiles awkwardly at me and in that short exchange I know that he is younger than Dean.

"Say, you two brothers?" I ask conversationally, making sure I do a good job.

"Yeah, yeah we are" Dean replies, looking up at me with guilty innocent eyes. I try not to laugh at his intentions and go to walk away.

"I'll be back with your orders, Sam and Dean" I call behind my shoulder, walking towards the cash register and putting their orders in before handing the scrap of paper to Roy, our cook. I go behind the bar to get the two drinks, eyeing the clock and trying not to sigh. I'd have to stay until they left. But that did hold the promise of a tip, which was always useful to have. I grabbed the refreshments before me and sashayed back over to their table, keeping my act up the whole time.

"Alright, here are y'alls drinks. For you Dean" I hand him a bottled beer.

"And for you, Sam" I hand him a soda, for some reason resisting the urge to call him 'Sammy'. Part of my character was to give people nicknames and although he didn't seem cold, he also didn't seem in need of a nickname.

"Thanks" Sam says kindly, taking the drink and placing it on the table.

"No problem darlin'. So where'd you two hail from?" I ask, smoothing down the back of my dress and addressing the two boys.

"Everywhere and nowhere" Dean answered cryptically, I smile at him seductively, knowing that he's completely up for the bait.

"Sounds a lil' secretive handsome" I leaned over onto the chair opposite them, knowing that it revealed some of my cleavage. God, I hated this part of the job.

"Maybe I'm a secretive guy" I glanced over to Sam and one look told me he was used to this. He had already excused himself from the conversation.

"You can tell me all your secrets" I leaned a little closer to Dean, almost whispering. He looked up at me, playing my game.

"Maybe you should tell me yours" he winked at me and I let out a breathy laugh, straightening up and striding away, knowing that he would be staring after me. Hook, line and sinker. I made my way into the kitchen, greeting Roy and grabbing the two plates of food that were now on the metal bar, so they remained heated. I nodded my head in a fleeting goodbye to Roy.

"I'm going home when these two are done. Amber will be in soon" I shout to him, he smiles and nods before I exit the kitchen and move towards the two brothers, placing down their food.

"There you go, is there anything else I can get y'all?" I look between the two boys inquisitively.

"This is great, thank you" Sam smiled at me, signalling that I can go. I nod at them before gliding over to the counter, I saw them begin to talk in hushed voices and allowed myself, for one fleeting moment, to wonder what it was they were so secretive about. But then I shook myself out of it and began to tidy up the counter for Amber. A couple who had just paid their check got up and began to leave, I looked up and smiled at them.

"Y'all stay safe now" I call, they send back a chorus of goodbyes and I wave. When they have left, my hand flops down and I glance at the clock yet again. It's just gone ten minutes past. I withhold a sigh and decide to check up on Roy. Maybe Amber is already here and I can finally get off shift. I enter the kitchen and immediately know that something is wrong. Roy is not humming his normal tunes and I can't smell anything cooking. Maybe he's gone to the toilet? That must be it. Clearly Amber isn't here yet, I actually let out the sigh this time before emerging from the kitchen back out into the bar. I go back to tidying up the counter, wondering what the hell is taking Amber so long. I don't bother to look up when the bell rings, signalling another customer has entered. I finish wiping the top of the counter before I chuck down the cloth and look up to greet the person.

"Howdy Sir, how can I help ya today?" I look up to meet the face of a familiar yet distant person. I take a short step back, sharply breathing in.

"I'm here for a take away" He says, his voice sharp. I pull my gaze away from him, shaking my head to snap out of it.

"'Course. What can I getcha?" When I look back up, my act is in place, that sickly sweet smile stuck on my face.

"Look, sweetheart, cut the crap." I look at him, startled and I stumble back a bit.

"What?" my voice comes out shaky and confused.

"I'm only gonna ask once. Come with me. Now" I take another step back, this time in fear.

"What? No. I think you should leave" I hate how scared my voice sounds. He turns his head to the side and then looks at me, this time his eyes black. I nearly scream but I can't seem to.

"I told you I was only gonna ask once. Now, I take" His eyes were flooded with black, making him immediately inhuman. He thrust out his hand and I was suddenly hurtling towards him. This time, I could scream and boy did I scream. I was nearly over the counter, almost in his hands, when I was suddenly dropped. I am quick enough to see one of the boys who I had served holding out his hand before I clatter to the ground with a thump. The other boy, Dean, comes running to me and grabs me. I slide backwards along the floor with him as I watch the man jerk spastically, like he had been electrocuted. My hand is over my mouth and my eyes are wide with fear. The body slumps forward. My shaking hands are still over my mouth and Dean is knelt over me, shielding me from whatever else could happen, but he was looking at Sam - who I now realise was holding a knife.

"What the hell was that?" I ask, my voice panicked and afraid.

"That, was a demon. The real question is, what did it want with you?" Dean turned to me, speaking in a matter of fact tone.

"He…It said it wanted me to come with it?" My tone ends quizzically.

"What does it want with you" Sam asked, as puzzled as me. I shook my head, staring at the floor.

"I have no idea" My fists are clenched in fear, half of me wishing they would just leave and the other half desperate to cling onto the man in front of me and never let go.

"What…I…" I had no words. I couldn't form a coherent thought with all the questions whizzing around my head.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions and we will answer them all soon, but right now we have to go" Dean starts to move and I reach out to grab him recklessly. He looks at me, surprised, but he must see the fear in my eyes because his gaze softens.

"I'm…" my voice is barely a whisper.

"I'm afraid" I voice reluctantly. He kneels down to look me in the eyes.

"I know. It's honestly ok to be afraid. But we've gotta get you somewhere safe before more of them" he points to the body on the floor "come for you" he finishes.

"Uh…ok…ok" I nod my head. Dean helps me to my feet and we start to leave.

"Is there anyone you need to tell? Anything you need to get?" Sam asks me, I'm clinging to my own arms insecurely.

"No, no one I need to talk to. If I can just get my bag from the back room then I don't need anything else" Sam nods at me and I see them exchange a look but I ignore it and shuffle to the back room. As I pick up my bag and my jacket, I wonder in horror what happened to Roy and Amber. I want to find them, scream at them to never come back here. But despite my desire to help them, I am still too frightened. Too scared for myself to help anyone else. I patter back into the main dining area, still in shock.

"You ready to go?" I nod, wondering what the hell I'm doing. I don't know these people but I'm just trusting them.

"Where are we going?" I ask earnestly.

"I'm not sure. Maybe the next town over? We have friend who might be able to give us some answers" Dean answers. I run my hand over my face and hug myself.

"Are you going to hurt me?" I don't say it innocently or sadly - I just sound tired.

"No. I promise, that is the last thing we want" I look into Dean's eyes, judging him based on them. He looks so sincere, so honest, that I nod once and begin to move out of the door. We make our way over to a black chevy, I managed to feel impressed by it before I'm again flooded with terror and shock. What the hell is all this? How can I suddenly be in so much danger? I sigh greatly, watching the two men routinely get into the car. I follow, not even apprehensively. I climb into the back seat, hugging my bag to my stomach. We drive in silence. I stare out the window, trying to stop tears from welling up in my eyes. I keep running over what happened. Feeling haunted by those soulless black eyes. Hunted by his words. What could he possibly want with me? I'm nothing. I've never been important before, why now? I shake my head, trying to knock out the thoughts and i quickly wipe my eyes incase any stray tears escaped. Nothing has changed. I never stay in one place long. I get bored, I move around. No family, no permanent friends, just me. I can feel Dean checking on me via his dashboard mirror but I ignore his inquisitive eyes. I just focus on the blur of landscape passing us by, my eyes blinking calmly despite my inner turmoil. The country around me speeds by and before I know it, we were in the next town over. I had no idea what it was called or what direction we even went in. I was just following these people blindly, too tired and scared to question them. We pulled into the parking lot of a motel and the two boys jumped out, Dean already going to get a room. I moved out of the car a lot slower than the other two, still clutching my bag and looking around.

"So Nissa, how are you doing?" My head snaps to Sam and I stare at him like I wasn't expecting him to be there.

"Clarissa" I mumble.

"Sorry, what was that?" Sam steps closer and I clear my throat.

"Clarissa. My name is Clarissa" I repeat, trying my best to snap out of the daze I've been in.

"Well, Clarissa. How are you feeling?" He sounds grim, like he's not expecting a good answer.

"Honestly, I've been better. But I'm alive, which is good" I attempt to put a positive spin on it. Sam smiles a little at my answer.

"I'm sorry you've had to up and leave. We'll try and get you home as soon as we can" He says kindly. I shrug.

"It's ok. I move around a lot. I have nothing there worth going back to" I reply honestly. I can see Sam think about this but before he can open his mouth, Dean is walking back over to us holding a key out in front of him. I follow them to a room and we enter it warily, as though we're expecting to be ambushed. When we're not, we settle into the room. I walk over to a chair and flop onto it, placing my bag down next to me but holding on to the strap.

"What do we do now?" I ask the room, leaving the question open.

"You should call Cas" Sam tells Dean and I watch him nod and pull out his phone. Sam turns to me, leaning his forearms on his knees and bending his back slightly.

"Clarissa. Is there anything, I mean anything at all, that you can think of that would make you a target? Any suspicious deaths, weird happenings, anything at all that's happened to you that might cause them to come after you?" I immediately shake my head.

"No. There's nothing. I'm an only child, my dad died in the army and my mum died a few years ago from cancer. Nothing weird, nothing out of the ordinary. This is the first time anything like this has happened" I tell him honestly. Sam looks to Dean and then back at me. I close my eyes briefly but when I open them, there is another man in the room. I am startled slightly but his normal appearance gives me some small comfort.

"Hey Cas. This girl got attacked by a demon. It wasn't random, they said they wanted her for something. Any ideas?" Dean informs him and the third man wheels around to look at me. I suddenly feel very small.

"You're not human" He states and I look at him in pure shock.

"What? Yes I am" Sam and Dean yet again exchange looks.

"Cas, I'm pretty sure she's clean" Sam says, but now he sounds wary. I look between the two brothers in fear.

"Please, I'm human. I always have been" I plead.

"She's partly human. Whatever else she is? It's…dormant" I look up at the third man, who is donned in a tan trench coat.

"What? What do you mean?" I stammer, not sure If I make sense.

"So what is she? Is she a demon, an angel, what?" Dean insists. The man, Cas, turns to address the brothers now.

"I don't know" He responds simply. I look up at the three in utter fear.

"I'm…I'm human. I swear I'm human, I've always been human. What else could I be?" I was aware that my voice was growing higher and I made an effort to calm down. Cas looked very uncomfortable and the two brothers looked wary.

"Look, please, you have to believe me. Is there anything you can do to check that I'm human" I ask hopefully. Sam glances at Dean before speaking up.

"There's a few things we can do to check if you're human-" he begins but is cut off by Mr Serious.

"She's not human" Cas insists and Sam sighs exasperatedly.

"To check she not a _demon_ then" he compromises. I try to ignore how casually they're treating this. Honestly, I was scared out of my mind but they all seemed so calm. I can't afford to freak out right now. I watch anxiously as Dean wanders over to his duffel bag, pulling out a tin container usually filled with some old whiskey or run.

"What're you gonna get me drunk now? Can demons not get drunk?" I tried to play off my fear and tune in to my usual sarcasm but I couldn't prevent the physical wince that came with the word 'demons'.

"No, that's not quite it" Sam said almost humorously but I can see that he's ready to pounce, to subdue me if needed. I am torn from my observations by cold water cascading over my head. I shiver at the shock and shake my head to try and remove some of the liquid from my face.

"What the f-"

"Holy water, dangerous to demons. She's clean" Dean addresses me before facing Sam and Cas while I wipe my face.

"So what is she?" The three of them seem to be locked in a conversational circle and I feel slightly indignant at my exclusion from the discussion.

"I don't know" Cas sounds glum, like he's used to delivering bad news. My eyes move between the men, trying to ignore the thumping slowly rising in my head.

"Well how the hell do we find out" I blink hard, closing my eyes forcefully in an attempt to push out the pain.

"I don't know"

"We need to know what we're dealing with dammit"

"There has to be a way to find out"

"Well if you think of anything, be sure to let us know"

" _Dean_ "

"Sorry if I hurt your feelings twinkle toes"

"We're all stressed here. The worst thing we can do is shove reckless comments at each other"

"Shut up Cas"

" _DEAN"_ I couldn't take it anymore. My head felt ready to burst, and at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

"BE QUIET…Please just be quiet" I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry, it's just my head really hurts and I…" I trail off, not really knowing where I was going with that sentence. Cas moves towards me and I stare at him apprehensively. He reaches a hand out and places it on my head. The pain slowly subsides but it's replaced with an uncomfortable itching sensation in my mind. My eyes closed unwillingly and I tried to zone in on why my mind felt this way. I felt a sudden jolt which made me physically jump before it all came flooding back.

Flashes of memories. A man, a woman. Wait, no, that woman was me. Face after face, bodies, tears, blood, dirt. But then there was soft pillows, large rooms, people bowing. Millions of memories crashing down on me. What did it mean? Who am I? What am I? I can feel pressure building as the memories keep flowing.

Jessica

Esme

Scarlett

Amber

Emily

Calla

Maia

Alyssa

All the names I'd had. Everyone I've ever been. It was back to haunt me, it was all back in my mind. The knowledge, the visions, the memories were pushing at the boundaries of my mind. The force was so bad I could feel a scream rip from my throat and I was clawing at my head in a useless attempt to escape everything running through my brain. I felt like I was going to burst. Like I was going to explode into thousands of tiny pieces. Then suddenly, it all stopped.

Silence.

I apprehensively fluttered my eyes open. I was on the floor, Sam and Dean were stood over me with concern clouding their faces. Cas was kneeling beside me, moving his arms away from me.

"What the-" I cough in the middle of my sentence and they spring into action. Dean gently lifts me up into a sitting position and Sam gets onto his knees with a bottle of water. He passes it to me and I drink some, making it easier to talk.

"There's a block on your mind, or, there _was"_ Cas explains gravely.

"It was concealing your true identity. I can't tell who put it there or why" His gravelly voice holds the attention of the room. I don't know what to say.

"So do we know what she is now?" Dean looks up at his friend as he moves his arms away from holding me up.

"I might be wrong. I hope I am. But if I'm not, then it would appear that your friend is a reincarnated god" He sounds terrified even as he says it. My eyes widen and I draw my knees up to my chin. This cannot be real. There's no way. But there was no way the man in the diner was real, but it happened. Apparently unreal is the norm here.

"A reincarnated god?" Dean sounds skeptical. I focus on a spot in the carpet and just stare at it.

"It would appear so" Cas maintains his negative tone.

"We've dealt with gods before, they aren't so bad" Sam sounds like he forcing the hope in his words.

"Yeah, except this one doesn't remember being a god, we don't know what the hell her powers are or what she can do and to top it all off, we still have _no idea why the hell what demons want with her"_ I flinch slightly at Dean's harsh tone.

"I'm right here" I mumble. I've finally had enough of being referred to like I'm not sat in the middle of them.

"What?" Sam asks gently.

"I'm right here" this time my voice is louder and clearer.

"I've been here this whole time and you've all been referring to me like I'm on another planet. I get it, you're in a bad situation but I'm in the goddamn middle of it. So please, feel free to walk out of that door and leave me here like an unexploded bomb or stay and help me work out what the hell is going on" I say firmly, confidently. The men have the decency to look sheepish. Cas looks a little impressed but I ignore it.

"You're right, we're sorry" Sam says reasonably. I nod, accepting his gesture.

"You can begin by telling me whole the hell this is" I point to Cas, the seemingly magic man.

"I am Castiel. I am an angel of the lord" he says robotically. I stare at him for a moment.

"An angel?" I repeat.

"Yes" Castiel nods simply. I nod back, ingesting the information before me.

"My life is such a mess" I mutter, more to myself.

"Welcome to the group" Dean tosses sarcastically at me. I want to stick my tongue out at him but I refrain from completing the ridiculously childish motion, knowing his comment wasn't meant maliciously.

"Ok, so we can start by finding out which god you are-were" Dean rises from his position on the floor and offers me a hand. I take it and pull myself up, straightening my uniform.

"That's going to be a little more difficult. You might experience some flashbacks" Cas addresses me. I nod.

"Ok. Is there any way to know when? Or to prepare?" I ask hopefully.

"Unfortunately, no, not really" I nod again, feeling the blood drain out of my face. We're shaken out of our huddle by a knock at the door. The three men are immediately suspicious. Dean stands up, grabbing a knife from his bag and approaching the door. The three of us stand back, anticipating what might burst through. Dean glances towards us once before slowly opening the door. He quickly stashes the knife in his pocket and we all relax a bit.

"We've had some calls that there's been screaming from this room, mind explaining what's going on?" a man's voice sounds. I exchange a look with Sam as Dean stumbles over his words.

"Yes, well, you see we" I sigh, knowing I'll regret this later. I push past the two men and trek over to Dean.

"Hey baby, what's going on?" I put my hands on his shoulders and pretend to hang off him, but slightly to the right so I hide Cas and Sam. Dean turns his head to the side and gives me ' _what are you doing'_ look. I just smile widely at him.

"This man was concerned about the screaming babe" he plays along, to my relief.

"Ohhhh" I pretend to be embarrassed and look down at the floor before looking up.

"Well, you see, we're kinda on our honey moon and well this one is just such a sexy man" I move my hand to his chest and move my leg to cover his affectionately.

"I'm so sorry about it though Sir. We'll be sure to keep it down next time" I say sincerely to the now blushing man.

"Yes, well, thank you m'am"' he stammers out and I smile at him.

"You have a good night now" I call out as he begins to move away.

"You two too" he calls back.

"We will" I wave as he walks towards the lobby of the motel. I maintain my smile as I pull Dean back and close the door. I put my back to it and release a deep breath, completely dropping my character. I lift my gaze to meet the surprised faces of the room.

"The hell was that" Dean sounds angry but like he's not quite sure why he's angry.

"'That' was me saving your asses" I potter over to one of the beds and flop down onto it.

"Look, I was the one who was screaming and that was the best excuse for it. Plus, he'd be too uncomfortable to really question it" I explain. Dean moves over to the chair I was previously sat on.

"That was actually pretty impressive" Sam does sound genuinely impressed.

"It was nothing" I shrug off the praise. We wait in silence for something, anything at this point.

"So, what's the plan?" Dean asks the room. We all just kind of look at each other, not sure. Cas steps forward.

"I could perhaps try and release some of your memories like I previously did?" I slide a little further away from him, holding up my hands.

"Uh, I think I'll pass. If it's going to hurt as much as it just did, I'll wait for a flashback" I say firmly, not really wanting to relive whatever the hell happened to me.

"Well, while we wait for a flashback or some clue to who you really are, we could start by trying to find out what the demon wanted with you?" Sam offers sensibly.

"Seems like a start" Dean agrees, bracing himself to stand up. I nod in agreement, also moving to get up.

"Woah, woah, woah, the hell do you think you're doing?" Dean holds out a hand in protest.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm coming with you" I retort quickly, moving my hands to hold my elbows so I'm almost hugging myself.

"Like hell you are" he says stubbornly.

"I'm not a child, I don't need to be babysat. I can handle myself. Besides, I'm a lot safer with you than alone in this motel room" I argue back, just as stubborn.

"She's right" Sam doesn't sound like he likes it but he can't disagree.

"Yeah, she is. Cas, watch her. She doesn't leave this room until we get back, you hear me" Cas nods once to his friend.

"Of course, Dean. We'll be here" Sam casts me an almost apologetic look before grabbing his coat and following his brother out of the door. I sigh loudly, making my protests known. Cas awkwardly sits on the chair previously occupied by Dean. I try to sit in a stubborn silence, watching the clock icily. But after almost twenty minutes I can barely stand the sound of the ticking. I sigh again.

"What should we do?" I ask, watching the man's eyes dart to me quickly. He had appeared to be in deep thought up until now but the sight of him in deep thought was too boring to leave him be.

"I don't mind, as long as it's in this room" Cas' eyes are deadly seriously and his face is like stone. I huff and fall back on the bed, thinking about what we could do to pass the time. I suddenly launch myself up, startling Cas as I pace over to the cupboard. I yank it open and get onto the tips of my toes to look on the shelf at the top.

"Yes" I say quietly, finding what I was looking for.

"Did you find out what you'd like to do?" Cas questions softly from his seat. I grin at him, pulling the box down.

"Yes, yes I did" I say excitedly.

"What is it?" Cas sounds almost fearful at my sudden animated personality.

"Cas, have you ever played a board game?" I ask, walking over to him.

"No" he replies warily.

"This is gonna be fun"


	2. Chapter 2 - Operation: What The Hell?

Hello! Thank you for the five follows already! I'm so happy! I know this chapter is shorter than the other one but that was a very long chapter. I'm have a planned storyline but there will be some chapters that have fun little plots and funny situations. I'm trying to keep it somewhat light hearted because the story is quite dark. I really hope you enjoy though and keep reading until the end!  
I'll try and update again this week but I'm not sure if I can write a good chapter and get it up in time :( Please, leave a comment with any feedback, advice or grammar errors so I can improve!

Thanks again for reading this!

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Chapter 2 - Operation: What The Hell?

"No Cas, for the last time, you want to take out his heart"

"But why? Doesn't he need it?"

"No, just take it"

"But I'll kill him"

"He'll be fine, just do it"

The motel door creaked open, opening up the discussion to Sam and Dean who were entering apprehensively.

"The hell?" Dean trailed off, not even finding words. I looked up at him from my cross legged position on the floor. Cas almost looked slightly embarrassed but it was clear he didn't really understand why he felt embarrassed. I did a quick scan of the room and could kind of understand why the two brothers were so horrified. Cas was currently poised over a game of 'Operation', next to him a forgotten game of 'Guess Who'. Beside me was a quickly solved game of 'Cluedo' and behind both of us was an angrily discarded 'Monopoly' board. I look back up at the two brothers, grinning sheepishly.

"What? You think I was just gonna sit here brooding for four hours?" I climbed up off the floor, Cas following my lead.

"I feel like this is the worst alternative" Sam stays, still staring at the room in disbelief.

"Hey, at least I'm not raising Satan" no one laughs at my joke and the penny drops.

"Seriously, you've done that?" I ask, mouth agape.

"That's for another time" Dean says, fully entering the room and shutting the door firmly behind him.

"Did you find out anything?" I ask eagerly, dismissing the mess of unfinished games. I'm not sure, but I think Cas sits back on the floor to continue the game.

"We got hold of a demon, found an old warehouse and asked him a few questions" Dean explains tiredly.

"And?" I step towards him but think better of moving any closer.

"And nothing" Dean looks at me like I'm annoying. I shoot him a sickly sweet smile and look to Sam instead. He just nods defeatedly.

"Wouldn't say a thing. He was afraid, borderline terrified" Sam picks up the story.

"Of you? I don't think you're that scary" I say skeptically. Dean chuckles a bit and Sam shakes his head.

"No, he was afraid to tell us anything. He kept saying he'd rather what we did to him then what would happen to him if he blabbed" I look between the two brothers.

"Who or what was it so afraid of?" I sink slowly onto the bed opposite the two men.

"We don't kn-" Sam is abruptly cut off by a loud beep. All our heads snap towards Cas, who has now dropped the fake tweezers of the board game. His eyes are full of dread and he makes eye contact with Dean. I see grave realisation dawn on his face.

"What?" I say, fear rising up in me once again.

"Lucifer" Cas says simply.

"What?" it comes out as a whisper, though I originally intended for to be louder.

"He's the only one that really strikes fear into a demon. The only one to make them hope that Sam and Dean will kill them first" Cas explains, his tone dark.

"But…but…no. What the hell does Lucifer want with me?" I ask shakily, "I'm no one, nothing important. What could he possibly want with me?" I bring my knees up to my chin again. I can feel myself beginning to shake, fright winding its way through my veins.

"That's what we're going to find out" Dean says, suddenly sounding very determined. I nod, not completely sure I believe that. I clamber off the bed, muttering something about getting some coffee before I wobble into the kitchen, closing the door behind me and closing out their worried looks. I grab the kettle, fill it up and switch it on. I robotically go through the motions of making coffee while my mind is busy running through everything that had happened to me in the last day. I hear the door softly open and close before feet come towards me. Dean gruffly clears his throat and I don't turn to face him, not trusting myself to not cry.

"How're you doing?" he asks, sounding uncomfortable.

"Not amazing right now, but I'll live. I think" I end my sentence sharply, prohibiting my mind from wandering.

"You will, we won't let anything happen to you" I sigh, finally turning to face the tall man.

"It's so stupid. I just want to burst into tears and run" I pause, sighing again, "but I don't even know what I'm running from" I finish. Dean nods and purses his lips as if he's thinking.

"Nobody's saying this is gonna be easy, but we'll get through it" he comforts. I nod, looking at the floor before turning to pour the water into my cup. I accidentally splash some on my hand and I jerk it back, hissing sharply.

"Hey, you alright?" Dean asks worriedly, quickly turning on the cold tap. I can't reply, I just stare at the burn forming on my hand as blackness inches it's way across my vision.

"Hey? Stay with me" Dean's concerned words slowly fade away and I am engulfed by the burning sensation in my hand.

Fire blazes across the room in front of me, dancing and unfurling in a twisted dance. My eyes are wide with fear and I strain against the rough rope tying my hands together behind my back. I watch a man raise a sizzling metal pole from the burning flames above me. He turns towards me, smiling, as I begin to struggle again. My chest heaves in fear, wracked with sobs of terror as he walks tantalisingly slowly towards me, holding the fiery sword out in front of him. I cry out, unable to prevent my body from reacting the way it is. He tuts quietly, moving ever closer, until he is inches from me.

"Dear one" his voice is filled with a sick fondness.

"My sweet, sweet Lorelei" He reaches out to stroke my face and I can feel bile rise up in my throat. He steps back as I heave into the flames surrounding me. The heat from them is sweltering. I felt as though my skin was melting and reforming just to melt again.

"Now, you will learn" his voice is barely a whisper as he steps closer again.

"That you are mine" A piercing scream is torn from me as he presses the tip of the fire blade into me, carving a symbol into my collar bone. The pain blossoms like a festival in spring. It spreads from my arm like ivy. Poisonous ivy, infecting and engulfing my veins - replacing them with burning hot flames. My body pulls itself apart like the petals of a flower being torn from itself and dropped into an endless abyss. Fire replaces my blood, metal replaces my skin and heat invades my mind, winding and flowing into my brain. The screaming doesn't end, it just fades into oblivion as the darkness yet again attacks my vision, clutching onto me and dragging me from this place.

I jolt awake, covered in sweat and still in the kitchen. Except now I'm in Deans arms, shivering in fear. My hair is plastered to my face and I'm gasping in air like each breath could be my last. I clutch Dean's arm tightly, too afraid to let go.

"What the hell was that?" He almost yells, but his voice is panicked.

"I…I don't know" I say breathlessly.

"I think it was a flash back" I'm still holding onto the man in front of me for dear life. He slowly raises me back onto my feet but I refuse to let go.

"CAS, SAM, GET IN HERE" Dean yells, keeping his hands on my back and my shoulder to keep me upright. The two other men burst in and I can see their confusion and worry at my sorry state.

"She had a vision, we think" Dean explains simply. Cas nods.

"That seems likely" he agrees, moving more into the kitchen so Sam can let the door swing shut.

"What did you see? Tell us everything" Cas says urgently. I nod furiously, removing one of my arms to grab the counter behind me. Dean doesn't let go, which I am grateful for. I'm not sure If I could remain standing on my own.

"I saw it all through my eyes. There was fire everywhere. I could feel it, it was burning me and scalding my skin." I pause for breath, moving my hand over my collar bone anxiously.

"What else?" Sam pushes gently.

"There was a man, I couldn't see him properly. But he had a…it was like a fire poker, like you'd use for an old fire. He, he" I break off, hand still over my chest. I look down at it and take in a sharp breath.

"He spoke to me and then…" I continue to stare downwards at my hand.

"Then he burned me. He burnt something into my chest." I let out a deep breath in solid fear. A heavy silence weighs over the room.

"I could…" I pause, deliberating whether to tell them.

"Please, you must tell us everything" Cas says sincerely.

"I could feel it. All of it. The heat, the flames, the burning, the mark. I felt, heard and saw it all as if it was really me there" I was shaking with the memory. The pain was so horrible. Cas nods gravely and Sam looks sick.

"Can you remember what he said?" Cas asks, not sounding like he wants to know the answer.

"He said that now I would learn. That I would learn that I belong to him. And he called me something, a name" I try to remember, thinking through it all. Then it suddenly hits me.

"Lorelei. He called me…Lorelei" I breathe. The three look puzzled.

"What is that? Who is that?" I ask hurriedly. Sam shakes his head.

"I can't think of any gods by that name, I'll have to research it" Sam springs into action, moving out of the door to go to his laptop. Cas nods at me once and follows the taller brother. I sigh, sinking down onto the floor as Dean releases me. I put my head in my hands, unable to stop the tears. I can feel Dean get down next to me, not speaking, just waiting. I lean on his shoulder and he lets me stay there in silence. I rarely found comfort in anyone, I wasn't a particularly trusting person in general. But after all the shit that had happened to me today, I allowed myself to feel safe in the presence of the two people who seemed to be trying to protect me. We stayed like that for a few minutes, sitting in silence, pondering everything and nothing. Eventually, moving was the best option left and I tiredly allowed Dean to pull me up off the floor. We made our way out of the kitchen and into the living space. Sam was staring intently at his screen, scrolling and pausing to read. Castiel was holding a shabby looking book and I stared at it, puzzled.

"What's that?" I ask blankly, honestly not 100% sure I was fully awake.

"It's a very old text. We angels have little to do with the gods and their actions, so there are very little scriptures and texts about them. This" he gestures to the book "is one of the only informative ones." I nod, acknowledging his help before waddling towards the bed and sitting down.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask the room observing the hardworking men. Sam looks up for his computer to address me.

"Cas and I are reading up on pretty much all the resources that'll give anything solid to work with. Right now, that's all we can really do. It might be best to get some rest and just keep us posted on any visions you have" he says kindly. I nod, glancing at the time. I sighed, seeing it was nearly three in the morning.

"Don't stay up too late on my account" I address the three before clambering over onto the bed and loosely pulling the blanket over me. I had left nearly all my clothes back in the other town. I had my purse, complete with cash, my ID and my card. I didn't really have any belongings other than my clothes, which can easily be replaced. Lying here, listening to the quiet taps of a keyboard and the patient page turns, I allow a calm to wash over me. My life had been thrown into the gutter and I was desperately hanging on to the grate, trying not to fall through the cracks. But I wouldn't allow myself to lose it, wouldn't let myself be weak. Of course I was afraid, I'd be insane if all this didn't bother me, but I would not let it make me a liability. I have to be stronger than that. I clutched the blanket with a new resolve, determined to get to the bottom of this. I closed my eyes, still clutching the blanket and waiting patiently for the tendrils of sleep to take hold.

* * *

P.s I know Dean might seem a little OOC here, but in the show he does have tender, sympathetic moments where he'll comfort or hug someone, so I drew on that for inspiration.


	3. Chapter 3 - THE TITLE WAS TOO LONG :'(

Thanks for reading this far! Some chapters will be long and some will be shorter, all will be over 2,000 words! Next chapter should be a long one! Thanks for the reviews so far, please feel free to leave me a little comment about what you think, any errors you've spotted or any questions you have! Thank you!

* * *

Chapter 3 - Love Always Comes When You Least Expect It

My eyes blearily open to reveal the muted sun. The curtains had clearly been drawn and they were blocking out the direct daylight, which made keeping my eyes open a lot easier. I yawned and groggily pushed myself up into a sitting position. I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes and pulled my hands down my face, still half asleep.

"Good morning" Cas says clearly and loudly into the empty room. I scream, startled by his being there.

"Jesus, I'm up, I'm up" Dean stirs in the bed across from me, sleepily holding himself up with his right forearm against the bed. Sam also awakens, a bit more alert than Dean. I hold my hands up in defence.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry it's just" I point accusingly at Cas "He scared me" I explain wearily, flopping back down on the bed.

"I didn't mean to scare you" Cas says innocently. Dean is not amused by his sudden awakening but Sam seems to find it quite funny.

"I know, but you did. What are you doing up so early?" Cas opens his mouth to speak but Dean cuts across him.

"He's an angel, he doesn't sleep" he buries his head into his pillow and I try to hold back a laugh.

"Right ok, angel equals no sleep. Got it" I nod, hauling myself up out of bed. I toddle into the kitchen, switching on the kettle, which was still full from last time I attempted to make coffee.

"Coffee anyone?" I call out.

"Yeah, thanks" Sam calls back. I hear Dean grumble about needing a beer instead but I choose to ignore him. I fill the cups with water and carefully stir in the coffee, making sure not to burn myself again. I bring it into the room, offering one to Sam.

"I wasn't sure if you took sugar?" I say unhelpfully. He looks up and me and smiles kindly.

"This is great, thank you" I nod and settle back down on my bed, crossing my legs and leaning back on the wall slightly. I cradle my coffee, taking a sip before braving the reality.

"So, did you find anything?" I ask, half of me is hopeful, but the other half is dreading the answer.

"Yeah, so get this. Apparently, 'Lorelei' is another name for 'Venus'" Sam says, full of information and facts.

"The hell is Venus?" Dean says grumpily, kind of paying attention.

"She's like the Goddess of love. It's just the Roman name of Aphrodite" He tries to explain to his brother.

"Ugh, Gods" Dean moans, still into his pillow. I almost laugh but it doesn't seem like the right time.

"Ok, so we think that for some reason, unbeknownst to us, possibly Lucifer thinks that I'm the reincarnation of Venus?" I say it all out loud, not sounding as if I believe the words even as I recite them. I meet somber, hard thinking faces.

"Well, as far as we know, he's right. You might just be 'Venus' or 'Aphrodite'" I stare at Sam ludicrously.

"It's not exactly like boys fall over themselves to marry me. I've never had any mojo, or for that matter, any actual flirting skills" I gesture wildly, still clutching my coffee cup. "And how come no one has ever been in contact with me? I've read my fair share of mythology and I'm pretty sure I'm Zeus's favourite," I exclaim, looking at the three men. Dean avoids my eyes and Sam averts his own gaze. "What?" I say, but my head snaps to Cas as he begins to speak.

"This isn't something small. Venus is a major god, if Lucifer wants her - or you - then it's for something big" He sounds grave and I feel the fright in my stomach. I swallow it down and force myself to smile.

"Well, I'll deal with it when it happens, if anything happens" I take another sip of coffee. Sam looks worriedly at me but I pretend not to notice. I climb up from the bed and place my mug down.

"I need a shower" I look down at my uniform "And I need to go and buy new clothes" I say, repulsed at the state of them.

"We'll have a look for something of ours you can wear until we can get to a store" Sam offers kindly. I smile gratefully at him, acknowledging how nice he's being to me.

"Thank you so much! I have money, as long as we can get somewhere that sells clothes" he nods and with that, I walk towards the bathroom. I close the door, put my back to it and sink down onto the floor. I try to be strong, especially in front of people, but here I can't help but feel the weight of everything come crashing down on me. Amber and Roy are probably dead, if that demon had anything to do with it. And now I was on the run from what we think is Lucifer? I'd up and left the small life I'd built and suddenly everything from those scary movies I would never watch is real. I violently yank off my stupid dress uniform and turn on the hot water, stepping under it and sitting down. I close my eyes and let the water run over me, not thinking, not sleeping, just being. I know I can't stay this way forever, but for now, it was good enough.

I climb out of the shower, roughly towel drying my hair and grabbing another one to wrap around my body. I open the door slightly, peeking out to see a pile of clothes left near the door. I quickly grab them and slip back into the bathroom. I'm not particularly short, I'm actually quite tall, but Sam had to be at the very least 6 inches taller than me. I was around 5,10 and I was guess Sam and Dean were both in the 6 foot area. I pulled on his black top and it fell just above my knee. I wasn't exactly used to wearing such short things casually, but there was no way his jeans were staying on me. He had also left me a checked shirt that I pulled on comfortably. I pulled my fingers through my hair and left it hanging down. I tugged at the bottom of the t-shirt uncomfortably before I sighed, resigning myself to it being uncomfortably short. I balled up my uniform, tucking it under my arm. Don't suppose I'll be needing it anymore but who knows? I push open the door and walk back into the room, feeling stupidly self conscious about what I was wearing. I observed Cas still sat in the chair he was in when I had left and Dean nowhere to be seen. I chucked my uniform onto the bed I had claimed as mine and sat on it.

"Thanks for the clothes Sam" I offer to the taller man. He clears his throat and smiles at me.

"No problem. I knew it was long shot but I'm guessing there was no chance with the jeans?" I nod, laughing a bit.

"I mean, I consider myself tall, but holy shit man you are tall" I gesture to the length of his t-shirt on me. He laughs too, smiling genuinely and making me feel a little less insecure. Cas looks deep in thought and I move my attention to him.

"Whatcha pondering there buddy?" I ask sweetly, catching his eye.

"Nothing of great interest. I'd just like to get to the bottom of this" He says earnestly. I nod, agreeing with him.

"Speaking of, any leads?" I ask Sam, but the door sweeps open and in enters Dean.

"Nothing yet, we gotta get hold of a demon. Get some info and then gank 'em" I look up at him skeptically.

"If the last one didn't talk, what makes you think this one will?" I say fairly. He looks at me, an eyebrow raised at my doubts.

"You got a better plan?" His gruff voice asks, not unkindly but not exactly 'my little pony'.

"Well…kinda" I begin, already regretting the words as three heads all snap to me.

"You do?" Sam says seriously.

"Well, as far as we know, it's me that they're after. So we have a way to lure them in. I can get them to tell me what it's all about and you guys can burst in, guns blazing, and 'gank 'em'" I quote Dean and he smiles witheringly at me.

"No, absolutely not" Dean says almost immediately. I go to protest but Sam cuts in.

"She's got a point though, there's no knowing that we can get them to tell us anything. She might have a shot" His voice sounds strained but honest.

"Yeah, and then what? We put the most valuable piece we have on the board and if we lose it - Lucifer wins? I'm sorry, but handing over exactly what they want doesn't sound like a plan to me" Dean argues back, his eyes blazing. I stand up, still conscious of the length of the t-shirt.

"Then what do we do? Wait around for them to just find me? That's no plan either! We're not getting anywhere by having me sit in here like some monkey under house arrest" I exclaim stubbornly.

"Yeah, well, we'll think of something. But we are not going through with that plan, end of" There's silence and I feel furious. I just want this to be over and I will not let them leave me behind to be babysat. This is my life here, it's me they want! So I have a right to take action. I open my mouth to begin arguing again but I let out a small squeak of surprise when I catch myself in the mirror.

"Guys" I say, panicking. "Guys, am I? What the? Why am I glowing?" I begin hoping from foot to foot in a mad attempt to make it stop. While I wasn't exactly glitter-ball disco queen, there was definitely a light glow emitting from my skin. Cas stands up, staring at me in fascination.

"That is interesting" He mutters, walking towards me. I step back from him, my leg hitting the bed.

"What if I burn you?" I say worriedly. He smiles reassuringly at me.

"Glowing is nothing bad. The way you're glowing now just suggests you're feeling a strong emotion, there's nothing dangerous about this yet" My eyes widen at his casual 'yet'. Apparently I'm not alone.

"Yet?" Sam asks, rising from his sitting position on the bed. Cas doesn't seem to hear him though, he just places a hand on my arm and calm washes over me, dulling the glow until I am normal again.

"That's the freakiest thing I've ever seen" I say, releasing a breath and collapsing onto the bed.

"Welcome to our world" Dean offers sarcastically.

"I hate to say it, but we're still without a plan" Sam informs us. I sigh, resting my chin on my hands. Cas, who hasn't moved since he stopped my fairy initiation, sits down next to me on my bed.

"Can I at least go and get some clothes?" I ask tiredly, out of nowhere. Sam looks to me and nods.

"Yeah, of course" I get up, grab my bag and stride to the door.

"Wait, we should come too. Or, at least one of us" Dean says, not sounding like he's offering. He looks to Sam who shakes his head and then to Cas who stares at him for a moment before saying:

"It's your car." Dean huffs, grabbing his jacket and following me out of the door.

"Sonova bitch" he mutters and I hold back a laugh. I close the door, smiling sneakily at Sam. We make our way to the Impala and I'm finally stable enough to appreciate the nice car.

"Nice wheels" I comment quietly. Dean smiles, pulling the door open.

"It was my dads" I nod, accepting this as I climb in.

"Everyone gets the idea from somewhere, I'm sure it's as much yours as it was his" I mutter openly. I can feel Dean glance at me for a minute before he turns and puts the key in ignition. We only drive for a short time, pulling into a small complex of shops. We both get out and I pause for a moment, observing a place to look for clothes. I make my way towards one of the stores and Dean trails behind me. I stop so he can catch up and start walking again.

"Tell me about yourself Dean" I say conversationally.

"What?" he sounds genuinely confused.

"Well, other than the fact that you and who I think is your brother saved my life, I don't know anything else about you" I offer, striding into the shop. Dean purses his lips and nods in agreement.

"I guess you're right. Ok, well," He pauses and follows me around as I pick up a few things. I grab two pairs of jeans and hold them up to my legs to check the length, "You're correct, Sam and I are brothers. We're Hunters, have been our whole lives, it's how our dad raised us." He informs me. I fondle a top on a hanger and consider it for a while before picking it up.

"You seem to have a lot of respect for your father." I say casually.

"The hell'd you get that from?" I shrug.

"Well, your voice takes on this wistful tone. Like there's something you wish you could tell him" I explain observantly. I kind of prided myself in being able to read people well. It was a skill I've improved by always moving around.

"Yeah well, he kinda left before I had the chance to say goodbye." He admits gruffly. I nod, saying no more.

"Anyway, Me and Sammy stuck together. I always looked out for him. He went away to college for a while and it was…" I wait patiently as I make my way towards the shoes "it was rough, without him. But he came back. We've been through hell, literally. But we're still together" He sounds barely sentimental and like he doesn't want to really talk about himself anymore. I pick up a pair of canvas shoes and admire them.

"My mum, she was very ill." I begin calmly, making my way towards the checkout. "In her last few years, she couldn't really do much for herself. She was in and out of hospital all the time." I pause, swallowing as I dump my stuff on a self service checkout. I glance at Dean, who seems to be listening intently.

"So I looked after her for most of it." I grab my card out of my purse and shove it into the machine in order to pay. "When she," I pause again "When she died, she knew it was going to happen. She told me she loved me and that she'd see me soon, but not too soon." I stuff the items into the bag and begin walking out.

"At the time I thought she was just being silly." I exit the shop and keep walking towards the car. I stop just outside of it. "She went when I was asleep" I finish quietly. Dean looks pitying and I wave him off.

"It was a while ago, I'm fine now. I'm sure you and your brother have experienced demons in the more literal sense then I have. But we all have 'em Dean, I'm sure you're more fucked up than me - no offence -"

"None taken." He replies smoothly and I continue on.

"But you're not the only fucked up one." I take a deep breath and smile widely, opening the door to the car and dumping the bag inside. Out of nowhere, a child runs up to the car. I bend down to greet him.

"Hey there little guy, where are your parents?" I look around for them but can't see anyone. He shakes his head and holds something out to me.

"This is for me?" I ask confused, I look to Dean, who shrugs unhelpfully.

"Thank you." I say comfortingly to the boy. He looks up at me and gives me an unholy smirk that makes me stand up straight and take a step back.

"Be seeing you" he says before he runs off. I clutch the paper and look back at Dean then down at the envelope. I open it carefully, worried it might explode. I pull out an elegant invitation, scattered with rose petals. Cursive writing reveals it's purpose and I scan it in disbelief.

"What is it?" Dean says, half impatient and half worried.

"It's an invitation." I murmur.

"What?" he waits expectantly for my answer.

"An invitation to a dinner party with Gods." I elaborate.

"The hell?" He moves around to my side of the car and reads the card in my hard.

" _You_ didn't even know who you were yesterday - how the hell do they know who you are?" Dean asks, just as puzzled as me.

"Think about it, Dean. In the diner when that demon came for me, he told me to 'cut the crap'! And I seemed to know who I was in my flashback and now this?" I gesture exasperatedly.

"Dean, I don't think they've ever realised that I don't know who I am. They think I still remember who I am." I explain, pretty sure that it's true.

"Well then, I guess we've got a party to attend." Dean says simply, closing my door for me and making his way back to the store.

"What?" Now it's my turn to be confused.

"Can't disappoint, let's go get you a dress."

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There's not going to be a chapter for a few days as I'm working on a very long, very important one and I don't want to rush to get it out and have the story go in the wrong direction. Thanks for reading and hopefully understanding!  
Alex :)


	4. Chapter 4 - Devil's Dinner Party

_I'd like to clarify, that when Dean and Sam previous had a run in with Gods they were informed that all Gods are real. In this I have made Venus and Aphrodite the same person even though they're technically different Gods! Sorry if the inconsistency bothers you! Thanks for reading, this is the long chapter I promised! Enjoy!_

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Chapter 4 - Devil's Dinner Party

"So, you were invited to a party" Sam repeats, just as puzzled as us.

"Yes, I was invited to a party with the other Gods" I inform him and Cas, back at the motel.

"And we think that they don't know that you've lost your memory?" I nod in confirmation.

"This is indeed, very odd. Why now? You've been alive for twenty three years, why now?" Cas thinks aloud.

"You're twenty three?" Dean asks unnecessarily. I shoot him a withering look and ignore him.

"How did they find me? Maybe having that flash back sent up some sort of beacon or signal to let them all know where I am?" I ask the three men.

"Possibly, It's hard to know" Cas replies, falling deeper into thought. I sigh, flopping onto the bed.

"Woah, woah woah" Sam cuts across us, his face scrunched in confusion.

"Why are we going to this thing?" He asks, not sounding fond of the idea.

"Because Sam, we have the small matter of a God with no memory in our motel room with no leads" Dean casts his brother a look, his voice frustrated.

"Yeah, but isn't this a little dangerous?" Sam does sound worried.

"It's all we have to go on! We need info!" Dean exclaims and Sam concedes.

"So we have, what" I look at the clock on the wall "Just under nine hours to teach me how to act like a God, work out a plan and attend a party full of Gods that remember me even though I have no clue who they are" I feel like reciting weird things is a part of my life now.

"Pretty much" Sam confirms. I purse my lips and nod calmly.

"What the f-" Dean cuts me off abruptly.

"Sam and I have a few suits between us, Cas, you can borrow one and we picked up Holier Than Thou here a dress" I glare at him and he purposefully ignores me. Cas turns to me gravely.

"You must remember, if you are going to act like a God, you must also dress like one" He points out. I frown at him and he elaborates.

"You were, or are, the Goddess of love. That means elegant, pretty and…" he trails off and I just know I'm not gonna like what comes next "And seductive" I sigh.

"Why couldn't I have been the Goddess of fluffy blankets or something" I sigh, dropping my head into my hands. No one speaks and I let the silence surround me for a moment.

"Fuck it, let's go then. How do I be a seductive God?" I ask openly, waiting for anyone to answer.

"Well, firstly, you have to be confident. Gods are rarely insecure or doubtful of themselves" Cas begins. I nod, sitting up straighter.

"Yes, that does mean having good posture. Square shoulders and straight back" He nudges, I sit up even straighter and square my shoulders.

"Most of them are quite indignant. Act like you're always right, like you're assured of every word you say" He further instructs. Dean rolls his eyes and mutters something about getting some food. Sam looks to him and then to us.

"Good idea, you want anything…uh…" Sam trails off, not knowing what to call me. I brush it off like it doesn't bother me.

"Yeah, grab me a burger. I need one, trust me" Dean nods acceptingly and the two make a swift exit. I turn back to Cas.

"What else do I do, wing boy?" Cas looks slightly puzzled at the name but thinks better of asking about it.

"Your dress…" he beings solemnly. I look at him pure dread.

"Oh God Cas, what about my dress?" I ask, afraid of the answer. He manages to look apologetic.

"It's likely to have too much fabric…" I sigh, releasing the breath I had been unconsciously holding. I walked sadly over to the bag containing the clothing and slowly pulled it out. I hadn't even tried it on yet and I was already going to be cutting at it. It was a deep blue satin floor length dress, it hung down at the back in two horizontal hanging folds. I looked at it and decided that I could cut out the panels of fabric in-between the elegant folds which would expose my lower back and from the top of my neck to the start of my spine. I laid it gently out onto the bed and reached into my bag for the fabric scissors I always had with me. It sounded stupid but I liked making things, when I wasn't running away from the devil, obviously. They were also a plus for self defence. That was kinda just an excuse but it was good enough. Cas watched as I delicately held the smooth dress.

"I hate you" I say absentmindedly. I can see him look taken aback in the corner of my vision but I don't care. I get to work on the dress, hoping to god it fit me. I also decided to slit it down the leg too, if I was going all out.

"There, is that good enough?" Cas nodded and I hugged the cut fabric to me sadly. Cas cleared his throat.

"I, uh, I'm sorry about your dress" he tries to sympathise. I look at him, eyes wide. At least he tried.

"Thank you, Castiel" I say sincerely.

"Now, back to mannerisms"

Dean and Sam returned nearly an hour later to find Cas instructing their friend on how to walk 'fiercely'. Dean stopped his brother mid walk and turned to him.

"Remind me to disown Cas when this is all over" Sam just laughed slightly and fully entered the room, letting his brother shut the door. I turn desperately to them and almost launch myself on them.

"Oh thank god, you're back" I exclaim in relief. Sam looks confused as he hands me a bag containing my burger. I lean close to him and whisper

"He's a slave driver" Sam snorts and I back away. Cas looks a little crestfallen and I feel bad for him.

"Yes, well, I think we've covered everything" he says awkwardly. I stride over to him and pull him into an unreciprocated hug.

"Thanks for the help Cas" I release him and turn away to sit on my bed as he straightens his ruffled clothes. I greedily pull out the burger and start munching away.

"Did we miss much, other than your God etiquette lessons?" Sam asks, holding a salad. I look at it, confused as I observe that Dean is happily starting a burger. I tuck it away for later and take another bite of my burger while pointing accusingly at Cas.

"He made me cut my dress" I moan childishly.

"He what?" Dean starts, moving his burger away from his face.

"It wasn't revealing enough" I state grumpily. The brothers turn to face the now baffled angel.

"The hell Cas" Dean asks, somehow briefly forgetting his burger. Cas defends himself calmly.

"Just think Dean, she's the Goddess of love, sex, passion - everything that makes man's primal instincts alert and more. The Aphrodite or Venus they know, the one you've read about in mythology, wasn't exactly shy" he makes good points but it doesn't mean I have to like it. He continues on though.

"So, if this esteemed Goddess shows up dressed like your average human, they're going to suspect something is wrong" I sigh in defeat, stuffing more burger into my mouth. We all admit defeat to his logic.

"You should be glad she's wearing more than a sash" Cas mutters and I choke on my burger but decide to pretend that comment didn't happen. I glance at the clock and do a double take.

"Jesus Christ, it's nearly six" I almost yell, startling the members of the room. Dean finishes the last bit of his burger and talks with a full mouth.

"So?" he gets out, around the contents of his mouth.

"So, I have to look, talk and act like a Goddess in three hours" He still doesn't seem to get it and I sigh loudly.

"I'm going in the shower and I'm going to get ready" I grab the bag that had contained my dress, which was now home to a few items of make-up and shoes. I also took my dress, which was hanging up, resorting myself to getting ready completely in the bathroom. I jump into the shower and quickly wash my hair and body before switching it off and rushing around trying to dry myself. I towel dry my hair but I do it more thoroughly, so It's actually pretty much dry this time. I take another look at the dress and sigh, guessing that I won't need a bra with it. I push my hair of out my face and lean towards the mirror to start doing my make up. I apply foundation and concealer, trying to look flawless. I also use highlighter and bronzer to make my features seem sharp and what I hope looks more God-like. I draw on some slightly curved, well practised eyeliner and finish with some plum lipstick. I look at the person in the mirror, nod swiftly before grabbing the dress off the hanger and gently pulling it on. It fit, thank God. I zip up the side and look at myself again. I barely looked like me. Well, it was me, but I looked a lot prettier. Right now, I was more God than I was average human. I sigh - it seems I sigh a lot these days. I slip on the matching satin shoes, which only have a small heel incase I need to run. I admire how my eyes seem to become almost pearl coloured in this light. I pick up my black hair, ruffling it slightly so it falls into waves. I pull out some of the bobby pins I always kept with me and begin to twist it into a smooth and slightly intricate bun. I secure it with a few pins and let a few strands either side of my hair fall down to frame my face. I again gaze at my reflection before nodding again, as if reassuring myself, before shoving everything back into my bag. I turn to the door, suddenly nervous to open it. What will they think? Will they notice? Will they think I look fake? Is the lighting in here bad and my make up is actually awful? How on earth could I be a God with all these stupid insecurities. I take a deep breath, unlock the door and push it open bravely. One step, two steps, three steps and I'm into the main room. I blush and quickly avert my eyes when I see Dean's bare chest as he pulls on his shirt. Sam is just shrugging on his suit jacket when he looks up to see me. I hope that he can't see my blush under all this make up.

"Wow, you uh, you look great" I smile at him, smoothing down my dress self consciously. Dean is buttoning up his shirt when his gaze falls on me. I find myself stuck. In that moment, I can't seem to focus on any one thought apart from the way Dean is looking at me. My chest tightens and my heart speeds up.

Shit

I had well and truly done it now. Oh God, I was so screwed.

"You clean up well" his sentence sounds empty without a name at the end of it. He looks away and continues getting changed. It's like a constant reminder of what I am. I don't know what to call myself anymore. I'm not Clarissa but I'm sure as hell not Venus or Aphrodite. How could I develop feelings for someone else when I didn't even know how I felt about myself? I am pulled from my thoughts by Cas entering the room from the kitchen. He is fully clothed in a James Bond style suit and I can appreciate how dashing he looks. He is holding his tie, not looking confused but also not looking inclined to put it on.

"You look perfect" Cas says matter of factly. I can safely assume he's only thinking that I look just like I should. I smile at him lightly, pulling the tie out of his hands and beginning to put it around his neck.

"You aren't going to strangle me, are you?" He sounds genuinely scared and I laugh.

"Not today, " I comment comically. He lets out a breath of relief and I step back, letting go of his now made up tie.

"Who'd have thought, eh?" I turn to look at Dean, who is on the last button of his jacket.

"Who'd have thought we'd see the day that three of us dress up to be toy boys to the Goddess Of Love" We all just stare at him, immediately acknowledging how bizarre and unbelievable that sentence was. He nods and pulls in his lips to make a line with his mouth.

"Right no one" he mutters, pulling down the sleeves of his suit.

"What is my life?" I say more to myself but Dean catches it. He looks like he's thinking about it.

"It's like dinner with the devil, sweet cheeks" I want to groan at the stupid pet name but I get the feeling it was mostly sarcastic.

"Well" I clap my hands together, glancing at the time. It's nearly eight and I feel quite proud at achieving this in two hours.

"We need to actually find this place and then get there fashionably late" I say, sounding more confident than I feel. A silence falls over the room, everyone too worried to talk. "Is this a really bad idea?" I ask, my words drowning in the empty room.

"Who knows?" Sam replies, shrugging and gathering his things.

"It's just, if things do go wrong, we can't beat them. I mean, they're Gods" I emphasise the word but no one seemed fazed. Maybe this is just life for them - Never knowing if they'll make it back alive. I take a deep breath, taking one step forward.

"Let's do this, then." Only I could make a badass line sound unsure, I laugh to myself before attempting to shake my nerves off. "So what's the deal weapon wise?" I ask, serious and focused.

"Well, Dean and I have guns, among a few other things incase a few demons decide to show. Cas has his blade and you, M'Lady, can have this knife." I stare, my eyes wide open, at the blade as he sheaths it and hands it to me.

"And where the hell am I supposed to keep this?" I know I sound sassy but I get the feeling that's not why I haven't received an answer. Sheepishly, Dean raises a thigh strap and I huff loudly, snatching it from him, stalking into the bathroom to put it on. It's not particularly comfortable and I'd rather be without it, but it could be worse. I slip the knife securely in place and stupidly jiggle my leg around to see if it will fall off. It doesn't and I drop my dress, concealing the deadly instrument. I walk back out, briefly forgetting all the etiquette Cas had taught me.

"It's unlikely I'll do any damage with that thing" I point out. Sam smiles.

"We know, it's just in case" I nod curtly. Then, as we have nothing more to stall with, we begin to exit the motel. I open the door to the back of the Impala and carefully climb in next to Cas, who kindly holds his hand out to support me. I smile thankfully at him and settle myself before shutting my door, making sure my dress isn't caught. I mainly zone out on the car ride there. I'm too busy being scared to really notice where we're going. What if I can't do it? What if I can't be in character? I try to cut these thoughts and instead make a list:

Walk confidently

Talk sharply

These are not your friends, they're your…toy boys.

I had to try not to shudder at that last one. It was so strange to think that the three people who actually knew what they were doing were the ones pretending to be minions. We slowly pull up towards a huge, majestic mansion. It looks straight out a Princess film. It was almost shimmering, with pristine white walls and doors. The whole place was immaculate, complete with a light brown roof that contrasted well with the whiteness of the house. There were patterns written in vivid gold on the door and on the two massive pillars that stood guard either side of the near palace. I try to hold in a gasp and gaze at the place in awe. Castiel reaches over and touches my shoulder.

"Now might be a good time to get into character" I feel my heart sink and I take a deep breath. I sit up straighter and square my shoulders, raising my chin confidently like Cas had told me. I had nothing to hide, nothing to be afraid of, I was a God. Kind of….For now, at least. We pull up, Dean and Sam swiftly exiting. Dean opens my door and I delicately place my hand in his so he can help me out. As I stand up he leans close my ear.

"Might I say, my queen, you look striking tonight" I keep my facial expression blank but my heart is leaping at the compliment. I incline my head ever so slightly so he knows that I heard him but other than that, I ignore it. Cas is also smoothly out of the car and Dean reluctantly hands his keys to a parking chauffeur. The car drives away and I make sure my posture is correct before stalking confidently and seductively forward. Cas had promised to whisper the names of the different Gods as he recognised them.

"Cas" I whisper, drawing his attention to the one greeting guests at the door.

"That's the host, Hera" I knew a lot more about Greek Mythology than your average person, but I still wasn't sure exactly what to call them. But at least I knew who they were. She has golden blonde hair that feel to the side in a loose twist, her face was older than mine but she still looked immortally young. Her skin had a natural glow to it and her lips parted to reveal pristine white teeth that smiled kindly at me. She held out her hands to take mine sweetly.

"Lorelei, darling, you came!" Her voice is that of an aristocrat with a warmer tinge to it.

"Of course" I say, annunciating my words. I grip her hands softly and cast her of winning smile.

"I wouldn't miss it" I pray to God that I sound like the real Aphrodite. Or Venus. Or whatever her-my name is. She releases my hands and glances at the boys behind me.

"Entourage as normal" her eyes are gleaming mischievously.

"Girls gotta keep herself busy" I say confidently, not even slightly moving to look at them. She nods and her face falls solemnly. She moves close to my ear and I move in to hear her.

"I'm so sorry that he's back Darling. You're welcome here anytime" I step back, trying to look like I have an idea what the hell she's on about. I nod, my face serious.

"Thank you" I offer simply, she smiles and sighs before hurrying us inside. As we enter the foyer, a man appears from almost nowhere and asks if we have any coats or belongings he'd like us to take. I shake my head no, allowing the boys to deal with him. He leaves and we're left alone briefly.

"What did she say to you?" Dean asks almost immediately. I turn to them, my act dropping for a moment.

"She said she's sorry that 'he's' back and that I'm welcome here any time" I shove at them hurriedly, leaving them to ponder as I whip back around and assume my facade.

"What do I do now? I don't want to spend the whole night mingling" I whisper out of the side of my mouth.

"And we don't want to be your human slave toy boys all night, too bad." Dean's voice is dripping with sarcasm and I want to punch him. I sigh loudly, making my protests known and just knowing that he'll have a confident smirk on his face. I clear my throat and stride forward, towards the door into the main room. I stop just before the door and the others nearly walk into me.

"The hell you doing?" Dean says gruffly. I point to the door with a bored look on my face.

"I think you'll find I'm not opening those doors" they were brown double doors with gold handles. Cas immediately walked to one and Sam followed to open the other. I took a deep breath as they swung open and I ran over all the things Cas had taught me in my head. I enter the room assuredly, scanning the people inside. I can feel something niggling in my head, like a memory trying to escape and I pray to whatever Gods that may be holy that I don't have another flashback. I take a few steps into the room and move off the left, where there's less people. I can see a man make a bee line to me.

"Cas" I whisper, panicked.

"I…I don't" he stops talking as the man reaches me.

"Lorelei, or Aphrodite - What is it you're calling yourself these days?" He smiles charmingly and I can see a shine around him. The light bulb flips on and I cast him a pristine smile.

"Charming as ever Apollo" I say smoothly, he beams at me.

"You've been off the chart for a while, I was getting worried" He is clearly flirting with me and I can assume we probably have a history. I bend my leg slightly, crossing it gently over the other - a flirting tip I picked up in my old job.

"I wanted to lay low, have some fun" I signal to the men behind me. His intense gaze moves to them like he's noticed them for the first time. He runs a hand through his short hair, his blazing eyes moving back to me.

"You could do so much better" he says suggestively. I step back a bit, into the wall of men and grab Sam, who is on the end and pull him forward. He steps forward obediently. I gesture to his hair before running my hand slowly through it.

"I like something I can hold onto" I grip his hair hard before letting go, allowing him to step back. Apollo looks safely shut down but his eyes are still light, he smirks.

"My bedroom door is always open" he offers and I laugh.

"In your dreams honey" I quip, stepping to the side and striding off towards the bar.

"You always are" he calls out behind me and I smile despite myself. We approach the bar, which is currently empty.

"Woah, you gotta warn me about your kinks" Sam says jokingly. I glance at him lazily, trying to talk without dropping my act.

"I'm staying in character, be prepared for more shit like that" I warn, deadly serious. If this is what it took to convince them I was who they thought I was, then I would pull out all the stops.

"She's right" Cas sounded as foreboding as ever.

"It may be abrupt and we may not like it, but it's a convincing act" he turns slightly to address me "you're doing very well" he compliments.

"Thanks. Anyway, why would you three not want my love and affection?" I ask in fake innocence. I lean forward and rest my forearm on the top of the bar, placing my other hand vertically next to it and resting my chin on my hand. I begin to tap the bar, each of my fingers tapping individually straight after each other. I sigh, pretending to become quickly impatient. I straighten up as a man appears in front of me from seemingly thin air.

"What can I getcha baby doll?" the man has greying hair with a matching beard. He looks as though he used to be very fit but has let himself go recently. I arch one of my eyebrows at him, guessing who he is.

"What do you suggest Dionysus?" I quiz him, sounding mischievously interested. There's a glint in his eye that I'm sure matches mine.

"Anything with alcohol in it, if I were you" He quips back, I chuckle.

"I'll have a tequila babe" I order, fluttering my eyes sarcastically at him. I have a feeling that we were never flirting for love or for attraction - just for fun. I see him swiftly begin to make the drink, his movements familiar and smooth. He slides it towards me.

"On the house" he winks and I laugh again.

"I'd be so disappointed if it wasn't" He returns my laughter and I turn my back to him as he disappears again. I face my friends, holding my drink daintily in my hand.

"It worries me how good you are at this" Dean whispers gruffly, my head snaps to him and I curl my top lip slightly in disgust.

"You're asking to be killed when you say stuff like that" I mask my warning with the look. I observe the room, watching the people - Gods - mingle and talk like your average human being. As I slide my eyes over the room, I see someone giving me a sideways glance.

"Shit" I mutter. The three men are suddenly alert. I lean back, resting my elbows on the bar behind me.

"Don't. Stay in character. Dean, come here" He doesn't protest, he just moves towards me. I lean in really close to his ear.

"I'm gonna kiss you" to my relief, he doesn't jerk back or signal somethings wrong.

"You wanted warnings. But that person over there isn't convinced" I try to subtly signal towards the guilty party. I see Dean casually lift his eyes to look before nodding almost unnoticeably. I move away from his ear, grab his chin in false forwardness and pull his lips to mine. I know how awkward Sam and Cas must feel but I can barely think about them right now. Worryingly, the room and our mission seems to melt away - suddenly not as important as this kiss. We somehow move closer together and Dean's hand goes to my waist. I'm still holding his chin so I let go and slide my hand to his chest. Someone coughs and we are forced to split apart. When we do, I try to remain unfazed, as if it meant nothing, while Dean looks a little ruffled. I move my focus to the woman who had been second guessing me, or so I thought. I regarded her lazily, waiting for her to make the first move. To my relief, she loses her questioning glare as her mouth splits into a smile. She had thick auburn curly hair that reached her waist. Her face was round and kind now that her tough exterior had been broken through. She holds out a small hand to me and I take it calmly.

"Hi, I'm Adrasteia! We've never had the honour of meeting before Aphrodite!" Her voice is sweet and nervous, despite her previous seemingly confident manner.

"Nice to meet you Adrasteia" I respond appropriately. She releases my hand and pretends to glare at the three men beside me.

"I hope they haven't been too stuck up around you, now, I could show 'em a thing or two?" I pretend I know what she's talking about. I smile with my lips closed, glancing to them.

"That's kind, but trust me, it's so much more fun to punish them myself" I wink at her and she blushes furiously. Then, just like Hera's had, her face became deadly serious.

"I have to say, you are unbelievably strong. After everything that happened to you, we all hoped he'd never come back. I know we bicker and fight, but none of our brothers and sisters would wish on anyone what you have lived through" she looks frightened and sympathetic and I again try to maintain the idea I know what she's talking about.

"Honestly, that man! We all thought he'd be forever happy with Persephone, but no! No, he set her free and came for you. I'll never understand why he was so gentle with her and not you I-" She cut herself off, blushing furiously.

"I'm so sorry, honestly, this mouth of mine" she looked worried that I might smite her right there and then. I just nodded solemnly.

"It's fine, thank you for your kind words" She nods, fumbling with her hands before turning around and hurrying off.

"Who the hell was that?" I whisper to Cas, who responds is his usual slightly confused tone.

"Believe it or not, that was Nemesis" he mutters, I almost swing my head around to face him.

"The Goddess of retribution? But she was so…so nice!" I exclaim quietly. Cas nods, his face ever grave.

"Yes…yes she was" I sigh, quickly getting bored with this place.

"So I am just gonna stand here and mingle all night?" I ask shortly, refraining from tapping my foot impatiently.

"Hey Godling" Dean teases and I turn to him, unamused.

"What?" I ask exasperatedly.

"It's only been forty minutes" I can see the laughter in his eyes but I know that mine do not reflect that.

"And what do they keep talking about? Everyone seems to feel so bad for me but I-" I break off my sentence when I meet Sam's eyes. This was all about Lucifer.

"Him. When they say 'him' they mean him" The worried look on their faces said it all.

"But if he let Persephone go" I pause, my wide eyes beginning to fill with tears.

"Then that means he's after someone new" I look down at my hands, which have begun to shake.

"Me?" It's not really a question because we all know the answer. I stumble backwards a bit, my facade briefly forgotten. Cas quickly grabs my arm to keep me steady but we're beginning to draw attention to ourselves. But I can't focus on anything but the blood rushing through my ears. I know that someone walks over to us and I can hear the contrast of Sam's calm voice overthrown by Dean's quick thinking, rough one. I know that it takes Dean being thrown over a table for me to snap out of my trance. My head shoots up, observing the scene before me. Apollo was stood menacingly over Dean, who was grinning in a pile of ruined wood.

"You want to talk like that again, see what she has to say" He turns to point to me and I am suddenly back in character. I step delicately over a piece of table debris and approach the two men. I yank Dean up roughly and dust off his jacket slightly before facing Apollo. He begins to speak but I hold up a hand and he stops obediently.

"Don't. I don't want to hear it. I'm sure whatever he said to you was obscene, but that's just how I like him. So Apollo, when you learnt to separate your boner from your brain, I'll be in touch." With that, I swiftly turn, gesture once to the three boys who quickly scurry after me. We strut out, leaving each God staring after us.

"You've changed Lorelei, you didn't used to care so much about your slaves" Apollo calls out, I smirk with my back still to him.

"Trust me honey, you're more under my spell than they are right now"

Once we're safely out of the house, I want to go back in and apologise to Hera about the table. However Sam manages to talk me out of it. I sigh as the chauffeur pulls up the Impala tossing the keys to Dean and giving me a swift bow. We approach the car and I tell the men to stop. Dean looks at me, almost laughing.

"We're not your love slaves anymore" he jibes and I walk towards him with my head up. I am about a metre from him when I slow my pace, grab his hand a clutch it tightly. I then lift up my hand and slap him hard across the face.

"That was for the table and for provoking a fucking God!" I spit at him, climbing in the car without a moments hesitation. Dean holds his face sympathetically and I try not to giggle when Sam pulls a face and swiftly follows after me into the car. I feel an oddly familiar pressure in my head so i dig my hands into my eyes and try to ignore it. Cas is again sat next to me as I stare out of the window the whole way back to the motel. I can't help thinking that it's really my fault. After all, Dean was only trying to stall for me while I had a freak out. He distracted them enough for me to get back on track. I promise myself that I'll thank him next time we're alone. We pull up into the parking space outside our room and nobody moves. We're all too weighed down by the information received to think about getting out.

"How do we stop him?" I ask helplessly into the redundant car. Nobody speaks and silence once again fills up the space between us.

"We will" Sam says eventually, shattering the quiet. He doesn't sound fooled by his words and neither are we. Out of nowhere, the pressure that had been a dull ache in my head bursts and I look up in surprise as the car starts to spin.

"Uh oh" my voice is childlike. Cas swiftly looks to me and thrusts his jacket under my nose. My eyes swerve wildly downwards and I see blood begin to pool on the sleeve. My vision doesn't improve so I slam my eyes shut, slowly starting to spiral down into the darkness.

* * *

 _"Must we do this?" I ask, pained at the thought. The blonde Goddess looked at me bravely and nodded._

 _"It's the only way" her voice is grave but determined. Behind us, a beautiful tanned girl lay asleep across the backseat of a car, her delicate head surrounded by dainty, pretty flowers._

 _"She's my friend" My voice sounds full of heartache and Hera smiles emotionlessly._

 _"She is your only way out. If we do not give her to Lucifer, to distract him, then he will come for you" my eyes fill with tears as I look away from the gentle form, unable to bring myself to look at the kind girl I was about to betray._

 _"She'll never forgive me for this" I splutter quietly. Hera doesn't respond, she just keeps on driving. After the silence becomes to much to bear, I close my eyes and curl up in the front seat._

 _"It's for the best. She is the only one that can create beautiful life in Hell. Where she goes, so will the flowers. It will be a better fate than yours" I want to pretend this isn't happening but it is._

 _"But it's my fate, not hers. I'm the one destined to be trapped in Hell. But now we're going to change that? We're going to defy the fates and swap her life for mine?" I asked all these pointless questions to which Hera could not answer. I was destined to be stuck in the underworld, not her. But no, it would always be my fault. I would be the one to blame for Persephone being locked away in Hell._

 _And I let it happen anyway._

* * *

When I finally jolt awake, I'm lying in the bed. Darkness surrounds the strange surroundings of the motel room. My eyes are blurry but slowly focus on the ceiling above me. I slowly turn my head to the left to see Dean sat on my bed, his head in his hands. I'm not sure if he's sleeping, so I gently lean over to touch his back. He silently whips around and grabs my wrist, relaxing when he realises it's just me. I stare at him for a good while, remembering the kiss we had shared and how it had felt. If I were an angel, I had sure fallen for him. I cringe slightly at how awful the heaven-adjusted people around me would find that line but I'm proud of it nonetheless.

"Thank you" I whisper to his dark figure. He looks quizzically at me.

"For stalling" I explain, turning the rest of my body to face him. He smirks a little, accepting my gratitude.

"What did you say anyway?" I ask, interested now. He quickly looks away and I feel a flame light up in my stomach.

"It may've been something about him wishing his sunny head was in certain places" he vaguely explains but I get the gist of it. I try not to giggle and I pull my hand back from where I had tapped him, feeling embarrassed that I had left my hand there.

"Say no more" I wave him off with my hand and he laughs slightly, standing up and moving over to the bed he shared with Sam.

"Goodnight" I say contently, snuggling into my blanket.

"See ya around Love Dove"


	5. Chapter 5 - One More Serious Face

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Chapter 5

Unsurprisingly, I rose from my sleep far later than normal. That vision had really taken it out of me and I could barely bring myself to open my eyes. When I did, the glaring sunlight made me snap them shut again. I gave myself a small pep talk, eventually persuading myself to just get up - like ripping off a plaster.

Bad. Idea.

I sat up quickly, swinging my legs of the side of the bed and standing up only to fall straight back on the bed. Sam, who seemed to be the only one in the room, rushed towards me.

"Hey, hey, take it easy." he gently touched my shoulder to stabilise me. I tried to shake him off but he wouldn't leave me be until I was back in the bed with my back propped up with some pillows.

"Where is everyone? What happened? _What time is it?"_ I asked rapid fire, this timing leaving Sam having to flop down onto the bed. He rubbed his hand over his face quickly before facing me properly.

"You kinda passed out when we got back last night. Your nose was bleeding and you were restless and you got really hot. We carried you in here, lay you on the bed and tried to keep your temperature down. Cas promised to keep an eye on you but Dean was too restless to sleep so he stayed up." I try to keep my eyes neutral but I feel surprised at Dean, that seemed a bit out of character for him. Sam notices my face.

"Yeah, I don't know why. Anyway, at some point he must've gone to sleep. Now him and Cas left to get some food." I nod, rubbing my eyes tiredly as Sam stands up.

"Oh, and it's eleven thirty." I groan, hating getting up so late.

"Great." I mumble and Sam chuckles, returning to his laptop. I then realise that I am not in the dress I passed out in last night.

"Sam." I say inquisitively.

"Mmmhmm." he stares at his screen, only glancing at me quickly.

"Where's my dress?" I drag the words out, kind of dreading the answer.

"Would you kill me if I told you Cas changed you?" He says, sounding mildly scared as I acknowledge the long t-shirt I had on. I sigh, shaking my head.

"No." I inform him tiredly.

"Then Cas changed you." He says contentedly and I just give up, not caring at this point. I sit for a moment, revelling in the silence.

"Is it always this quiet when they're gone?" I ask Sam from across the room.

"Those two tend to bring noise and trouble with them." Sam answers, not looking up from his screen. I let out a quick laugh, leaning my head back on the wall and closing my eyes for a few short moments, enjoying the first feeling of calmness I had felt in a while.

"I'm just sayin', next time someone asks you pass them something on the top shelf, you don't lift them up to the shelf." I hear Dean's muffled voice before I see either him or Cas.

"I was _trying_ to be helpful." Cas sounds positively downtrodden and I see the door begin to open, two men emerging from it. Cas is holding a brown grocery bag and Dean is holding a plastic bag that looks promising.

"Ah, she awakens." Dean's voice is dripping with sarcasm and I smile sweetly at him.

"Can't resist the sound of instructing an angel on how to be more human!" my voice is chipper and also pure sarcasm. Dean rolls his eyes, kicking shut the door behind him and moving to put the food on the table. I sit forward, eyeing the bag interestedly while Dean shakes his head at me.

"Do you ever not think about food?" his voice is light and it's nice to see him when he's not so serious - I imagine it doesn't happen often.

"Never." I offer comically, watching as three styrofoam boxes are removed from the bag. Dean whips into the kitchen to get fork and then offers one of them to me. I take it gratefully. We sit in silence for a moment, I munch on my breakfast while anticipating the inevitable question. In the end, it's Cas who asks, considering he doesn't have breakfast to distract himself with.

"What did you see?" his ever blunt self requests. I stare down at my breakfast, feeling ashamed of what I saw.

"If you're familiar with Greek mythology, you'll know that Persephone was the love of the King of Hell. He trapped her there…" I trail off and Sam nods interestedly.

"Yes, wherever she went she trailed flowers and spring. She is allowed up for 6 months a year and that's how we allegedly got spring, summer and then autumn and winter" Sam explains, mostly for Dean's benefit.

"Yeah, well. It's my fault." I say simply, looking down in shame.

"What do you mean?" Cas requires further explanation.

"I saw what happened. Hera and I, we practically gave her to him." my voice falters at this point and I feel a wash of guilt.

"We were driving and talking about it. I didn't want to do it but…But Hera said it was the only way or," I break off for a moment. "Or he'd come for me." I finish, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore. I wait for a judgment, for something. But nothing comes.

"What do we do now?" I ask uselessly. For the first time, we were all lost of what to do. How on earth are we supposed to continue on? We couldn't fix this because we couldn't find the problem.

"I guess we keep going as we always do, but we bring missy by here along with us." Dean sighs as he speaks, gesturing to me with a flick of his head. Sam looks at him, knowing there's more.

"What else are we gonna do? We have a God with memory loss and no leads! We can't fix the problem when we don't know how to! We just have to keep going and wait for something to come up." I stare at him in shock.

"We can't do that." I say almost immediately.

"Why not?" Dean challenges me and I know this is going to turn ugly.

"Because it's what you said! I'm a God with memory loss! I have no clue who I am or what I'm capable of! I'm a danger to everyone! Especially with, who we think is _Lucifer,_ after me! I can't keep endangering everyone like this." My face is open and determined but Dean shakes his head, biting his cheek.

"We can't leave you alone! You're right, you might be dangerous! All the more reason to keep you in our sight! But we also can't just leave you lying around while you wait for him to come for you!" Dean is almost yelling now and I just get more stubborn.

"Then kill me." I shout back, meaning it.

"What?" Dean is surprised, not expecting me to say it. Sam and Cas also look very wary.

"I'm dangerous, we don't know what I'm capable of and the devil can't catch me if I'm dead." My voice is harsh and serious.

"Trust me, he can reach you anywhere sweetheart." Dean's voice is as venomous as mine. I want to hit him and scream at him, for no reason and every reason. Finally, Sam intervenes, standing up.

"Stop, ok, just stop. Screaming at each other won't fix this. Look, we can't let you go, we're involved now and we'd never forgive ourselves for just leaving you. But we also can't just wait around forever. If you just tag along for a while, we can keep track of your visions and any powers that might come through, anything that's a cause for worry." He's the voice of reason in all of this, but I'm still doubtful.

"We can protect you, and make sure no one else gets hurt." Sam is as sincere as ever and it breaks my resolve. I nod curtly, allowing him to win. Because he's right. Dean and I are just too hotheaded to realise that.

"So we look for a case and when we find one, run with it." Sam confirms the game plan, I stay silent and Dean agrees. Cas seems a little put off by all the emotions being thrown around the room and has taken a bit of a backseat. There was a lot of unspoken tension between Dean and I right now and it was palpable. It left a sort of awkwardness hanging over the room. I did feel bad for Sam and Cas but I was too busy sulking with Dean to do anything about it. Eventually, it proved too much for even the demon fighters.

"I'm going to get groceries so we can haul up here until we get a new case" Sam states, grabbing his jacket and making a beeline for the door. I'm surprised because even Cas feels the uncomfortable silence.

"I will come with you, Sam." Cas spews out, rushing after the taller brother like we were about to explode. Which it appears we were. Dean huffs, sitting himself on the chair normally occupied by the unsleeping angel. Neither of us were particularly inclined to talk about our feelings, but I tried to for the sake of Sam and Castiel.

"We should probably talk about this." I say tentatively to the man opposite me. He turns his to the face the door, thinking and not actually looking at it.

"Talk about what?" I laugh, shaking my head.

"The fact that I've barely known you for two days yet we have a talent for getting into heated arguments." I point out, grabbing the blankets in front of me to have something to do with my hands.

"Yeah, well we wouldn't if you weren't so goddamn stubborn and closed minded." He growls at me. I let out a mirthless laugh.

"Says you! You've been doing this for years, I didn't even know demons existed until one tried to kidnap me at my job!" I exclaim and this time it's him that shakes his head.

"You're a goddamn God! You've been doing this for centuries before I was even born!" I start to grow angry and I clamber up onto my knees, the t-shirt I was wearing falling to my mid thigh.

"In case you've forgotten, my fucking memory is gone! The _DEVIL_ is after me and another God looked so afraid of me that I likely have dangerous powers that could kill you right here and now! So excuse me if death looked like the best option!" I gesture wildly in anger and Dean stands up in fury.

"You don't get a say in taking your life! You can't just give up and take the easy way out! And Lucifer can reach you there too! You're safer alive than dead!" I look to the sky in rage.

"I'm angry because this is my life now! I don't want this! I had a life!" I almost scream at him.

"I never did! Sorry, but we don't get a choice in the life we're handed, we have to make the best of it! Just giving up and giving in is not what you should do!" Deans face is hard and I stare at him angrily.

"And what give you the right to decide?" My voice is cruel and stubborn. He just looks at me and suddenly his face looks very close. His jawline is set and he swallows hard which makes my heart leap. We just look at each other, unspoken words between us still. But from nowhere, those words meant nothing in comparison to the vivid green in his eyes. Our whole situation melted away, the argument we were having suddenly discarded.

And then we leapt into motion.

Dean launched himself towards me and I reached out my arms to embrace him as our lips clashed together like titans at war. My hand snaked up into his hair and the other remained on his back for stability. His hands moved all over my back, recklessly tugging at my hair and what I was led to believe was Sam's shirt. We separated for breath.

"This is a bad idea." I pointed out, moving back to pull the shirt off as he unbuttoned his.

"A really bad idea." I repeated, helping him undo his belt.

"We shouldn't do this bad idea." I mumbled again, not even hinting at actually stopping. Dean paused, looking right at me and I stared back at him, captivated in his eyes. I knew, right there and then that my previous words were meaningless, there was no way I was stopping now.

"Let's do this."

* * *

A long while later, I was resting my head on Dean's chest and staring at the ceiling. I can't quite believe we just did what we did. This was gonna backfire so badly. But at this point, I did not care. I just sighed contentedly, knowing we would have move soon, before Sam and Cas got back. Despite this, I snuggled my head deeper into the crook of his armpit and played childishly with his hand.

"You know we have to move, right?" Dean inquires, watching me twiddle his fingers distractingly.

"Mmmmhmm." I respond stubbornly. He chuckles slightly before slowly pulling his hand away from me and I know that this is it. We won't speak of this again and we'll pretend it never happened. It wasn't like I'd never had a one night stand, but I had never had to spend the following days with said one night stand. It was a one way ticket to awkwardville but we would have to deal with it. It didn't change my attraction to him, but I knew that this meant nothing to him. It was just an action, people like Dean didn't do strings attached. I slowly released my breath before shuffling away from his arm and sitting up. I grabbed the hair tie that I always kept around my wrist and pulled my hair up into a, most likely, shit looking ponytail. I moved to the side of the bed and stood up to grab my clothes as Dean pulled on his shirt and began buttoning it up.

"I'm going in the shower so you have to face your brother and angel boy first." I state, making my way to the bathroom.

"Thanks for the support." he calls and I ignore him, closing the bathroom door and dropping my clothes on the floor. I looked in the mirror and rubbed my hands over my face.

"What the hell was that?" I scold myself quietly in the mirror. I shook my head, disappointed that I couldn't control myself but not really regretting it. I stepped into the shower, switching on the water and testing it before fully stepping under. I felt so calm as I massaged shampoo into my hair. I know that what had just happened was going to bite me in the ass, but I was happy right now. Happy didn't happen often. Normally I was just 'ok' or 'fine' but 'happy' was a rare answer for me. I happily hummed along to a few songs as I washed, closing my eyes in a satisfied way. When I was done, I continued humming as I dried my hair. I fastened my bra and realised that I hadn't grabbed the bag with my new clothes in. I put my ear to the door, listening for sounds of Sam or Cas. When it sounded safe, I snuck out and spotted the bag. I made my way towards it, beginning to sing as Dean was nowhere to be seen.

"Ground control to Major Tom." I began to sing quietly, reaching for the bag and grabbing hold of it.

"Ground control to Major Tom, take your protein pills and put your helmet on." I continued my song as I scuttled back to the bathroom to get dressed. The song continued well on into my dressing stage. I yanked a black top over my head.

"Commencing count down, engines on." I tugged a pair of blue jeans up around my waist and buttoned them up.

"This is Ground Control to Major Tom." I reached into the bag for some socks and carried on singing as I haphazardly pulled on my socks.

"For here, am I sitting in a tin can." I jovially opened the door and stopped dead still at the sight in front of me. The door had been burst open and a man stood confused in our room.

"Dean." My voice was shrill and scared. He burst into the room from the kitchen and absorbed the situation at hand.

"The hell you doing in here?" I realise the man was the same guy who had asked us to keep the noise down.

"I'm not sure, I was just walking past your door and then…" The man looks genuinely puzzled. My eyes widen, having the stupidest idea ever.

"Music." I say quietly. Dean's head snaps to me but I keep looking at the man.

"Did you hear singing? Music?" I ask wildly, hoping I'm just insane. He nods, smiling at the memory.

"Yes, yes! There was this beautiful singing it was so…godlike" I shake my head, turning to Dean in exasperation.

"It was me." I whisper sharply. Dean looks confused as hell but he goes with it.

"Look, buddy, you seem ill so we'll forget this ever happened, but could you get the hell outta our room." It wasn't a request and the man obliged, apologising the entire way out of the room. Dean firmly shut the door on him before whirling around to face me.

"I was singing Dean!" I exclaim before he can say anything.

"I thought I was being crazy but he said he heard singing and _I_ was singing!" Dean's face is a mix of confusion and frustration.

"So you have magical mojo singing powers now?" He asks, sounding annoyed. I look at him in shock, how can he be mad a _me_?

"Dean, I didn't know! I was just singing because I was happy and suddenly there's this guy in our room! Jesus, I was half naked a minute ago, it's not like I invited him in!" I was getting angry again, it wasn't my idea of fun! He releases a slow breath.

"I know." Is all he says and my anger dissipates. His face just looks so done. This whole thing was crazy, seemingly even for Dean. I felt bad, considering it was my mess. I softly strolled over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. His strong arms enveloped me and I tried to ignore the fluttering of my heart.

"We'll fix this." He says quietly and I almost laugh.

"Thanks, but I'm not sure anyone can." I pull away, trying to avoid the determination in his eyes. He releases me just as we hear muffled voices and we leap apart, panicking wildly. I speed towards the bed, grab my phone from my bag that was sat next to my bed and tried to pretend that I was looking at it even though it had no charge. Dean was sat unnaturally on the chair and was pretending to look at the TV manual. Had I not been in the state of worry I was currently in, it would have been very funny. Sam pushed the door open and entered with a few bags, closely followed by Cas. He walks a few steps in and then pauses, eyes surveying us carefully. I move my eyes to him and smile but his eyes just narrow in return.

"Hey guys?" I say, questioning his gaze. He stays that way for a beat before moving on and his face forms a smile.

"Hi." He responds jovially and Cas simply tips his head in greeting.

"Did we miss much?" Sam asks casually and my eyes quickly flit to Dean for support.

"Not really." Dean shrugs unconvincingly and I want to laugh again.

"So what did you guys get up to?" Sam has a smile on his face and suddenly I don't want to laugh anymore. I think he _knows._ Or at least, he suspects something. _Shit._ I scan my brain for any excuse, anything he won't question.

"Nothing." Dean assures him but I have a light bulb moment.

"No, Dean, it's ok. You don't have to cover for me." I know this'll embarrass me but It will also get Sam off my back. Dean looks at me, his eyes warning against whatever I'm going to do.

"I kinda, came on." Dean's face goes slack in disbelief and I ignore him. Sam blushes, suddenly regretting his questions.

"Oh wow well, I'm sorr-" I cut him off, waving my hand at him.

"It's fine! It was really awkward and Dean was there and I asked him not to mention it - but it's ok!" I try really hard not to laugh at the expression on their faces. Cas just frowns, looking at me quizzically.

"What does that mean?" We all just look at Cas, our faces that of disbelief.

"I'm not explaining it." I say almost immediately. The two brothers look terrified at the prospect of telling him what it means.

"We'll tell you when you're older Cas." Dean dismisses it, giving him a look that suggests he should let it go. To all of our relief, he does. I move my eyes to each member of the room before standing up and pocketing my useless phone.

"Well, I'm going stir crazy in here, so I'm gonna go out for some air." I inform them casually. Wary looks are exchanged and I sigh.

"Guys, I'll be fine. I just wanna go for a walk and have a look in a few stores. Nothing daring!" I reassure them, although they still seem reluctant.

"God, If I have to look at one more serious face I'm gonna puke." I decide not to wait for them permission and just grab my jacket.

"I'll be back soon." I call to them, walking over to the door.

"Be careful. If you see anything weird you call us." Dean says firmly and I just nod, not bothering to point out that I don't have either of their numbers or any charge in my phone. I pull the door open and step outside, turning to shut the door when Cas grabs my wrist.

"This is a bad idea." His face is it's usual stony self. I just smile at him and put my hand over his hand.

"Cas, I'll be fine." I comfort him. No one had a solid enough reason to keep me here.

"If you," he scans the surrounding area and lowers his voice.

"If you get into trouble, just call out for me, ok? Pray to me and we will come for you." The weight of his words startle me and I nod obediently.

"I will." I agree. His face seems to lose a bit of his worry and he releases my hand. I turn away from the sweet angel and begin to walk across the motel to the street. What the hell was I doing? I just had to get away from all the crazy for a minute, so I could get myself together. I look up and see a man just in front of me but across the street. He looks like he's staring right at me and I start to panic until he waves to someone behind me. I drag my eyes away from him, chastising myself for being so paranoid. I saw a grocery store quickly approaching and I decide to go in to grab some water, and just to have something to do. I stroll into the store, slowly wandering down the aisles and looking at random stuff. I smile at a woman as I walk past her and she returns it. I pick up a packet of mints and study the label, stepping back so a man could reach past me. I carried on down the aisles, making my way towards the water. I grab a bottle and feel a weird tingle on the back of my head, like someone's watching me. I turn my head to the side slightly and my eyes scan in front of me, suddenly realising the lack of clerks and assistants around. I couldn't be sure, but I think I just walked into a trap. I slowly began walking further down the aisle, towards the checkout. Sure enough, I hear footsteps and whoever was looking at me was following me. My heart thumps rapidly in my chest, like a race horse just waiting to hear the shotgun. I pause, glance to my side and spot a heavy looking bottle of wine. I wait a beat before launching for it, turning around and smashing it over their head. The woman from earlier looks back at me, the side of her head is dripping with blood but she's just smiling at me. I stumble backwards, dropping my shopping and falling to the floor. She stalks towards me and I see the man I had moved for come up behind her. Almost simultaneously their eyes begin to drown in black and I feel sick. They got closer, reaching down to grab me. I panicked, throwing up my hands and screaming as loudly as I could.

Then it all went horribly wrong.


	6. Chapter 6 - It Can Only Get Worse

_So this is a pretty intense chapter! A lot of important things happen and there's a lot of action. This finally sets the plot in motion! I really hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for ready! Sorry if anything is OOC! If you have any questions regarding plot, characters or anything else - don't hesitate to leave me a review with your inquiries! Also, if you spot any grammar mistakes then feel free to let me know :) Thank again for reading!_

Chapter 6 - It Can Only Get Worse From Here

I hear an inhuman scream and my eyes widened as I watched what was happening. My hand went straight through the woman who had tried to grab me. She was writhing in pain and I tried not to scream as blood came pouring out of her, drenching my arm. With a sickening squelch, I yank my hand out of her chest and stare in horror as she collapsed to the floor, twitching spastically until she stilled. It was then I allowed a gut wrenching scream to erupt from my mouth. I called the only word I thought could help me right now, as the second demon - almost unfazed by the death of his companion - thundered towards me. He bared down on me and I was too afraid to do anything again. I try not to be afraid but I can't help but whimper when I see three more burst through the doors of a storeroom. I curl up into a ball, hugging my knees tightly in an attempt to wait for it all to be over. The demons releasee growls, their voices foreign and threatening. The blood on my arm smudged against my leg and I had to curb the squeal begging to come out.

Then, suddenly, all the noise stopped. The footsteps, the snarls that had been echoing from their mouths. It was just silent. I dare to open my eyes, surveying the scene in front of me. I raise my head slightly to see a man, with sandy short hair staring down at me. He frowns when he sees my state and takes a step towards me. I try to shuffle backwards in panic and he stops moving.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, I won't hurt you." I immediately don't trust him. Whatever or whoever he is, he is not on my side. He sighs, crouching down so he's more level with me.

"You see, the problem is, I want to protect you. I want to keep you safe from this world. But you've always been so damn stubborn." He sounds like he's chastising a child, like I've disappointed him somehow. His words make the switch flip and it finally dawns on me who he is. He is studying me and smiles when my mouth falls open. I snap it shut and look away from him as he sighs.

"Lorelei, just come with me. This can all be over, I can make you happy." I am bombarded with feelings and thoughts that aren't my own. They're the emotions of all the past me's, all the versions of myself that have lived through his torture.

"Never. You don't know what happiness means." I spit bravely at him. His face grows stormy and he rises up, now standing over me dauntingly.

"Fine. Say no for now, but you'll be seeing a bit more of me than usual." He taps the side of his head with his index finger.

"Until you decide to give up." He sounds bored, like he knows I'll give in but he doesn't want to wait.

"I'd rather die." I snarl at his smug face. He just laughs, darting forward and grabbing my wrist violently.

"It's not me that'll be the death of you. It's you. Nothing will kill you faster than your own mind. You'll eat yourself alive and me? Well I'll just watch it happen." To say his words shake me would be understatement of the year.

"But for now, I'll leave you with a little something to remember me by." He smiles, but there's nothing there. No emotion, no feeling. It's just a simple, pointless gesture. I shriek as a feel a burning sensation on my wrist and cry out when he roughly lets go of it, tossing it towards me. I cradle my arm with my other arm and watch as he turns around calmly, beginning to stride away. He pauses, turns and starts to talk.

"I'll wait, for now. The chase is half the fun. But if you don't come willingly, I will take what is mine." Tears form in my eyes and I blink hard, willing them away. When my eyes are open, the demons have returned and are still stalking towards me, like they'd never moved. Now that he's gone, I finally find my voice. I scream Cas' name at the top of my voice, trying to hold my injured arm and still escape the onslaught approaching me. I was stuck between the shelves of drinks behind me and the group of demons. I was well and truly f-

"HELLO?" I hear Dean's voice roar and tears of relief trickle down my face. The demons are suddenly alert and the one closest to me lunges at me, landing a blow to the side of my face. I cry out in pain, trying to shield my burning arm from the beating. A foot connects with my side and I release a grunt of pain.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Sam yells and I try to call out to them. Why can't Cas find me? He said to call him… Another thump to my side and I'm spurred into action.

"DEAN." I scream at the top of my voice. I hear crashing and grunts.

"SAM." The word tears from my throat like someone ripping paper. The demon grabs my hair, yanking me up.

"If he didn't like your pretty face so much, we'd have a bit more time here." His coarse voice echoes through my ears and my head hurts from the strain of his hold.

"Your time's up bitch." Dean's voice is like heaven on earth. I watch a blade pierce my captor and he drops me to the floor. I fall, sprawling across the ground. Dean hurries towards me, yelling for Sam.

"Sam go and get rid of the angel inscription so Cas can come in." I hear Deans' gruff voice tell his brother. I then hear him move carefully towards me, gently lifting my head to place on his leg.

"Ok, can you hear me?" My arm still burns, the side of my face is bleeding and I think my rib is broken. But I can hear him. I nod very slightly, signalling to him that I can. He releases a breath, adjusting me slowly so the back of my head rests against his thigh and I am looking up at him. The rest of my body is straight and still, apart from my wrist, which I'm still covering protectively. I observe some sweat on Dean's forehead and watch his eyes survey my state.

"Does it hurt?" He sounds strangely vulnerable and I want to tell him no. I want to pretend it's fine and get up like nothing is wrong. But it does hurt, a lot. I nod again, this time with a little more movement. My throat aches and feels too dry to talk. "Jesus, we never shoulda let you go. It was stupid." I'm not sure if he's angry at me or himself, I suspect it's a bit of both. I can hear Sam's loud footsteps thunder around the shop, it's so silent that I can also hear Dean's ragged breathing. Breathing easy sounds like a privilege to me right now. Every time I took a breath in, the side of my torso felt like it was being stabbed. I release a breath and feel something shift slightly, making me wince and release a small sound of pain. Dean's eyebrows crease together. "Damn it Sammy, come on!" Dean whispers, not moving his eyes from me.

There's a gentle fluttering sound, closely followed by an angel in a trenchcoat. Cas' attention is quickly drawn to us and he smoothly moves towards us, bending down. I smile at him, feeling the blood stuck to the side of my face move as I do. I try not to throw up as Cas places two fingers on my forehead. My body is filled with a burning, tingling sensation. Then the pain abruptly stops and breathing isn't so difficult anymore. There's still blood on my face but apart from that I seem to be ok. My wrist still burns but I ignore it, it must still be healing. I try to thank Cas but just end up coughing, Dean reaches for the bottle of water I had come in to buy and hands it to me. He helps me sit up and I twist open the cap, drinking quickly to soothe my throat.

"Thank you Castiel." My words are sincere as I look up at the now standing angel.

"You're welcome." His voice sounds far from pleased, but his eyes reveal he is glad I'm not dead. Just as I go look away from him, he frowns. I turn my head to look where he is staring to find he's looking at my wrist. I had unknowingly started to hold it again.

"Does it hurt?" Cas asks me and I turn to him.

"Uh, a little. But I think it's just healing." I point out, but Cas' frown only deepens.

"It can't be, all the healing happens simultaneously, your injuries were not bad enough to last this long." I gaze up at him, very worried now. Whatever Lucifer had done, it wasn't just a bruised wrist.

"It was Him." I inform them uselessly. Sam has approached now.

"Are you ok?" He asks kindly and I nod. Cas' attention is still very much focused on my wrist.

"What happened?" Cas's voice is forceful and he bends down to face me full on.

"Woah Cas, calm down. She's just lived through Demons." Cas' face is stormy as his head snaps to Dean.

"I suspect she lived through a lot worse." His voice is dark and scares Dean into silence. His head turns back to me and I swallow worriedly.

"What happened?" He repeats. I have to look away, his glaring eyes making me feel uncomfortable.

"It was uh," I cough, reluctant to let the words out. "It was Lucifer. He was here. I think." I look up and the two brothers have almost identical faces. Their lips were slightly parted to show their disbelief and their eyes were shocked, showing how bad this guy really is.

"Here? As in here, here?" Dean asks, his voice sounding slightly in awe, probably that I'm still alive. I nod, clutching my hands together tightly in front of me.

"What did he say?" The full force of what happened has just hit me and Cas' question barely registers in my mind.

The devil was after me and we weren't going to win. He said himself, the chase is fun for him. We were kidding ourselves if we ever thought we'd beat him.

"He said he wanted to make me" I pause, my stomach lurching, "happy." I spit out the word like it's poison in my mouth. Dean clenches his fist together but I hardly notice. I'm looking straight forward at nothing, my eyes unable to focus on anything.

"And that I should give up and go with him." My voice was so empty and monotone, I wasn't sure I recognised it.

"Go with him where?" I almost laughed, breaking out of my trance.

"The hell if I know!" I exclaim, turning my head away from them all. Sam's jaw is set in an angry way, the same way Dean's jaw looked when he was pissed at me earlier today.

"He said that I'm going to tear myself apart." I falter, trying to tell them everything.

"And that he'd just watch me eat myself alive." Suddenly, I'm up on my feet. I startle all of the men around me but I don't care. My hands are balled into fists and my feet are planted firmly on the ground.

"He told me that he's enjoying the challenge for now, but if I don't come willingly then-" and just like that all the energy that got me standing up deflated, leaving me to sink back onto the ground like an empty shell.

"Then he'll take what's his." I finish, leaving the rest up to them. There's an angry silence hanging in the air. Before the bubble bursts, I gesture to my arm.

"Oh yeah, and he said he'd give me a little something to remember him bye." My voice is stony. Cas looks intrigued and moves closer to inspect it. I reluctantly move my hand to reveal a weird symbol burned onto my left wrist. My right hand covers my mouth and I feel sick again.

"What the hell is that?" My voice is shaky and unstable. Cas' face sinks and his eyes move to the brothers. He pulls his mouth to the side, like a solemn smirk, in a quick gesture that shows he doesn't want this to be happening.

"It's his mark, to suggest you're his property." I take a shaky breath.

"That sick son of a bitch." Dean sounds livid.

"That's not all." I throw my hand up exasperatedly.

"Of course this can get worse!" My tone is as fed up as I feel.

"It's also a timer." My eyes widen and I stare at Cas like he's sprouted wings. Which I guess, as an angel, he might be able to do. We all look at each other, in shock and fear. I want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and bury myself in the ground. Sat in between these three men was the safest I was ever going to be and there is still every chance he'll get me. I can't win. _We_ can't win. So now there was only one thing to ask.

"How long do we have?" My voice is quiet and fragile. I'm scared of what his answer will be. Castiel takes in a deep breath and my hand snakes over to Dean's in a silent signal that I need his support right now.

"We have ten days to work out how to stop the devil."

 _Oh damn! That was intense!? I really hope you guys enjoyed it! Thank you so much for 800+ views! I can't believe this is so popular :D Please remember that this is kind of AU and that it cannot fit into the Supernatural timeline anywhere! Thank you for reading!_


	7. Chapter 7 - The Madness Of My Mind

Chapter 7 - The Madness Of My Mind

It's quiet. After all the madness and horror of today, it's finally quiet. Yet, here in the darkness, I am more afraid than I have ever been. I'm curled up in a ball on the bed, blankets thrown askew over the top of me. My eyes are open but I can't see anything with them. All I can do is run through the events of today over and over again. My stomach hurts and my brain aches whenever I think of a detail I didn't tell my three saviours.  
The entire time we trekked back to the motel, I couldn't stop thinking about what I had done to that first demon. The way my hand just sunk into it, like it was nothing but a body composed of water. It was the only thing in my mind and every time I re-lived it, I could hear the tear of skin more clearly. The feeling of their body ripping like paper as I plunged my hand into it. I had quite literally killed it from the inside out. By the time Dean and Sam found me, I was already covered in blood. Some of it mine, some of it demon blood. Either way, I was in such a state, none of the men had thought to question the amount of blood on me. We had reached the motel and I had crawled pathetically into the shower before curling up in bed and pretending to fall asleep. So, now, I am lying in my bed trying to hold back the tears.

 _I'm a monster._

The words echo around my mind over and over again. It's all I can hear in the silence of the room. I know Cas is awake, so when the tears begin to fall, I try to contain all and any noise they bring with them. I want the occurrences of today to breeze over me. I'd like to wake up tomorrow and have none of this phase me. But I can't. I can't _not_ think about the mark on my wrist, the time limit before fucking _SATAN_ comes for me. The way I had killed that demon, the way I had sacrificed Persephone to the Devil. Every clue, every piece of information we uncover just seems to point more and more to me being evil. The more I learn about myself, the more I want to run to the end of the earth and put a bullet through my brain. I considered death a lot, in the fleeting few hours since the Winchester and their Angel companion had saved me. But every time I think it's the right option, Dean's warning - about him being able to reach me there - pulls me back from the brink of suicide.

Right now, giving up just looks so much easier. Is there any way we can actually win? If we do, what do I do next? I can't go back my old life after this. How many people will have to be hurt before we inevitably lose?

The fact is, I'm too reluctant to face the truth. The horrific, honest truth is that _I don't care._ I don't give a damn how many people have to hurt before we lose because I'm too scared to give up. I'm too afraid of what might happen to my tiny, insignificant life if I surrender, compared to the amount of damage that could be done if I choose to fight. But I'm just too frightened to give a crap.

 _He's going to hurt me._

Another thought that sends a wracking sob through me. I can't help but let out a sad sound at the thought. The shuffling of Cas' coat makes me freeze, but I can't stop my tears. Then, I hear his soft thumping footsteps and I attempt to wipe away the still flowing liquid from my eyes. I can feel him gingerly approaching me, but I can't for the life of me manage to get a hold on myself. Finally, Cas enters my vision and I can see concern on his face. I observe him glancing towards the two brothers asleep on the bed just across from us before he carefully sits on the bed. I just watch him, glassy eyed, as he awkwardly lies down next to me. He ends up beside me on his back, looking at the ceiling. I feel bad for him - he's trying hard to help but I can't blame him for not knowing how to act. I imitate him, turning onto my back and staring at the blank canvas above us.

"I can tell that you've become close to Sam and Dean in these past days." His gravelly voice is as hushed as I've ever heard it. I blush, thinking about exactly how 'close' Dean and I have actually gotten.

"Dean is a good person. He has survived a lot and suffered more than any one man should. He is strong." Cas pauses and I listen intently, although slightly wondering why he's telling me all this.

"But that is one of his flaws. Sometimes Dean forgets to allow himself, and others, to be human. It's natural to allow feelings to get on top of you, Dean doesn't let himself do this - ever." I am deadly silent, absorbing Cas' careful words. "You mustn't let yourself get caught up in this." His words resonate with me. Dean is stoic, but I'm not. I'm not used to all this and I'm trying to keep it inside.

"You said earlier that Lucifer told you that you would destroy yourself from the inside. If you attempt to follow Dean's path, he will be right. He will win and we will not be able to save you." His wisdom is hard hitting, but I need it. I need to wake myself up and stop acting like the main character of a TV show. I need to be strong, but I will be stronger with people willing to help me, not stood alone.

"You're right." I offer simply. I can feel Cas nod once, satisfied. I see this as my chance to really talk to the angel and I take it.

"How long have you known Sam and Dean?" I ask him quietly.

"Many years now, I lose count." I sigh thoughtfully.

"What are they like? I mean, really like. I can tell that they trust you, and that they care about you. So must know them well." I speak my mind calmly, accepting the offer off friendliness from Castiel.

"I have done many things in my long life. Many-" he swallows hard, "-bad things. Sam and Dean have always had the capacity to forgive me, righted my unforgivable wrongs." I can feel his honestly tug at my heart, making me respect and admire the man beside me.

"They are good people. They may not be pure or honest and they are not perfect. But their intentions, their goals, their sacrifices - _they are pure._ They have experienced and will experience trials that would kill - and have killed - even God's mightiest heroes." I barely remember to breath as I'm caught up in the reverence of his words.

"They are far from perfect and I know that they would wish to return to simpler times. But they do not give up, on anything or _anyone."_ I acknowledge the comment aimed at me.

"They will stand by you. Believe in them, because they will get you through this." Cas appears to be finished and slowly moves off the bed.

"Now you should try and sleep, don't worry, I will watch over you." I almost laugh at how sweet he intended that to be. It's a little creepy and very weird, but it's sweet. I think.

"Thank you Cas." My voice is filled with utter gratitude.

"You are welcome."

 _I know it's not real. From the minute I wake up in the all too familiar surroundings, I know it's all fake. But it just seems too authentic. The heat still nips at my skin, my senses are heightened and feeling everything. The heated metal cuffs on my wrists still hisses again my sweating skin._

 _"Welcome back honey." An overjoyed voice greets me._ Oh God no. _I observe a man come sweeping into my vision. I am greeted by the face of Satan and he is smiling._

 _"Are casual conversations becoming a regular occurrence of ours now?" His smile widens at my remark._

 _"I hope so." I laugh humourlessly._

 _"What do you want?" I get straight to the point. The world around me is still burning, I can smell sulphur and the stench of my own skin sizzling. He pretends to act like he's thinking._

 _"Many things. I want this-" He gestures around him, "-On earth. I want a world on fire." He makes a 'hm' sound and I roll my eyes._

 _"Ah yes, I want_ you. _I want your new buddies dead. As you can tell, I want a lot of things." I play it off like his words have no effect._

 _"That's good for you." I smile sarcastically. Suddenly he grabs my chin and I try not to gasp as he yanks my neck violently._

 _"I love it when you play hard to get." He grazes my jaw with his teeth and I try not to recoil._

 _"Trust me, this is pure 'do not want'." He releases me and then smacks me across the cheek with the back of his hand. I can feel the sting of the impact and I know that it would bruise, if this wasn't a dream._

 _"That will change. You know that you want this. It's in your hardwiring. All this-" He points to me, gesturing up and down at my exterior, "-Is just a charade. It's a cover, because you know that deep in your mind, you want to be with me. You want to rule over Hell. You want to be bad." I try to ignore everything he's saying. But it still rings at the back of my mind. It still pushes at my thoughts._

 _"Now who's the one pretending? You think that's true?" I sneer at him, not letting my underlying thoughts through._

 _"Oh I_ know _it's true." His eyes meet mine unblinkingly. I don't want to look away but I can barely keep the eye contact._

 _"Especially when you have nothing left worth living for. I'm all you've got baby, all you need." He makes kissing faces at me and I finally look away._

 _"You're disgusting." I snarl at him._

 _"Keep sweet talking me, it'll get you far." I have to refrain from laughing mirthlessly._

 _"I'll see you soon, beautiful." He winks at me and I just stare blankly at him._

 _"Go to Hell." I spit back. He laughs._

 _"I intend to."_

I jolt awake in a pool of tears and sweat. The first thing I notice is the dull ache in my right cheek. My throat is dry, look around for some water and manage to grasp some from the table next to the bed. I welcome the cool liquid and revel in the feeling of it soothing my throat. My eyes widen and I launch out of bed, startling Cas, who appears to have been reading. I yank the cord to turn on the lamp so hard that I snap it. I rush over to the mirror, the broken lamp cord clutched tight in my hand. I finally reach the reflective glass, feeling like it's taken me an age. My body goes numb, like I've been drenched in cold water.

"What is it?" Cas' voice is urgent and confused but I don't have time to answer him. I stare into the mirror, feeling bile rise in my throat. I stumble backwards hazardously, colliding with his chest, which is like a brick wall. I crumble, sagging into his form, Cas catches me and holds me up by a forearms. I hear other voices join the mix but all I can focus on is my reflection.

All I can see is the bruise on my right cheek.


	8. Chapter 8 - Never Look Back

Chapter 8 - Never Look Back

The bruise put there by Lucifer in my _dream._ How the hell can there be a bruise from something that wasn't real? Was it real? Is it possible that it was? No, I'm going insane. There's no way. Is there?

I'm aware of Cas holding me, but I'm trapped in my own head. The stench of it, the feeling of burning, it was _so real._ But it couldn't be real. There's no way I could've actually been there. Cas would've noticed if I'd teleported. But maybe He came here. No, Cas would've seen that too. I can't figure it out. How can this happen? What do I do? How do I escape? How do I win? All these damn questions racing through my mind, I can't think straight. I want to curl up until I pass out, but my unconscious isn't safe anymore.

Nowhere is safe anymore.

I'm snapped to attention by Sam calmly talking to me, softly trying to persuade me to come back to them, to focus on his voice and listen to him. I'm sat on the edge of the bed, I can see Dean and Cas have taken a step back. My eyes are wide and my hand shoots out to his shoulder. I can hear a relieved sigh and his hand covers mine on his shoulder.

"I'm so scared, Sam. I'm so, so scared." My voice is just a whisper, but my fingers dig into his shoulder hard. He studies me, looking into my eyes and his face softens.

"You're ok. Just breathe." I shake my head at him.

"You don't, you don't understand." I clutch his other shoulder too.

"Sam, he had me. He was right there, as close as you are now. It burned, my skin was melting. He was there." I know I sound insane, I can hear how crazy I'm coming across, but I can't organise my words.

"You need to calm down. Who was here? What happened?" Sam stays ever patient and I'm greatly thankful.

"Him. It was him. There was fire, chaos and pain. And amongst it all…was him. I thought it was just a dream, that it wasn't real. It can't be real." Sam places a hand on the side of my shoulder comfortingly.

"It wasn't real, it was just a dream, don't worry." I want to scream, laugh and cry all at once.

"That's what I thought, but then…" I trail off, rising from the bed and approaching the mirror, more prepared this time. I can see myself clearly through my crazed blue eyes. My midnight hair is flat, some of it plastered to my sweaty skin. I absentmindedly sweep it out of the way as I stare at the new addition to my face. My hand slowly reaches up to touch my cheek, I recoil slightly at the pain I feel when I apply pressure.

"How…?" I'm not sure I even know what I'm asking.

"He…I pissed him off and he hit me." I spin around, three pairs of eyes all focused purely on me. Normally I'd feel nervous at the attention, but I feel dazed, like _this_ is the dream and what came before was real.

"Wait, are you trying to tell us that you got that bruise when you were asleep?" Sam tries to grasp what I'm saying.

"I said something, he didn't like it and he hit me. He hit me hard across the right cheek and here it is, a bruise across my right cheek. It can't be a coincidence, it can't be an accident." I raise my head, my eyes moving wildly between the three men. They seemed to represent different things. Sam looked worried, ready to help me get through this. Cas looked determined, as if he was trying to work out how this could've happened and how to stop it.

 _Dean._

Even in my mind his name makes me want to shiver. Dean looked angry, like he was ready to put his fist through the dry wall and stab every demon in a thousand mile radius. I sort of slowly fall on to my knees in front of my friends, staring desperately up at them.

"What do I do?" I ask, exhausted.

"We leave. We thought this would be a quick, solvable thing, but it's more than that. We need to get you somewhere safe." Dean's voice is hard, leaving no room for opposition. I nod, looking at the floor. I can't believe they're still willing to try and save me. I'm more trouble than I'm worth.

"We take her back to the bunker." Dean addresses Sam this time, his brother gives him a swift nod.

"We'll work this out." Sam's voice is comforting but it doesn't change anything.

"Excuse me If I can't quite believe that."

It didn't take long to pack up our room. I barely had anything with me and Sam and Dean appeared to be pros at moving out quickly. Castiel said something about a radio and took off, claiming he'd meet us at 'The Bunker'. This place sounds a little ominous, honestly. All I've really been told is that it's safe, it's where they usually live and that it's called 'The Bunker'. I guess it's some sort of old WW2 shelter or something. When we were all packed up and ready to go, we made our way to the car and took off, straight out of this town as fast as we could. Now, I was staring out the window of the shining black Impala, once again watching the world speed by, like a montage in a movie. We drive most of the day, even though the boys had claimed it wasn't very far.

"I'm tellin' ya Sam, we don't stop for food, I'm gonna crash." Dean's voice sounds as serious as it could be.

"Is that a threat? Dean, we can eat at home." Sam sounds exasperated.

"Just because you run off rabbit food in hamster portions doesn't mean I don't gotta eat." Dean argues back.

"Hey, Percy Jackson-" Dean address me with yet another joke nickname "-you hungry?" I shake my head, holding up my hands.

"I am not getting involved in this, you two sort it out." Dean takes one hand of the wheel and gestures like he's frustrated and defeated at my lack of support.

"Well, I'm the driver and the driver says we get a burger." He sounds like a pouting child and I laugh.

"Are you a vegetarian Sam?" I ask curiously. He turns his head the address me.

"No, I just care about what I put into my body, unlike Homer Simpson over here." He laughs as Dean gets offended.

"You take that back!" He exclaims, only succeeding in making Sam laugh more.

"You guys are insane." I comment, smiling. Dean looks at me via the rear view mirror.

"Hey, can it That's So Raven." I marvel at his ability to think up the stupid nicknames. Maybe he stays up all night writing them down…

After some more bickering, Dean calls the shots and decides to compromise by buying a burger and eating it in the car. I politely decline his offer of a burger, not really feelings like eating right now. It's about eleven when we finally reach our destination. I'm met with a door. It's not particularly amazing. I mean, it looks sturdy and tough but other than that, it's just a door in the middle of nowhere.

"So this is it then." I announce, not actually asking but more stating my disappointment.

"It's a really nice door." I offer graciously. Dean just ignores me and Sam shakes his head at me, smiling.

"Just wait." He tells me, I look at him like he's crazy.

"If you guys are actually serial killers and this is the cellar you keep your victims in, I'll pass on the tour and head off." Sam let's out a snort of laughter and Dean just stalks past me, gesturing for me to follow him with his duffle bag. I tentatively clutch my bag and follow him, Sam closing the trunk before joining behind us.

"Just try and keep your jaw up."

After I had acknowledged how impressive The Bunker really was, Sam had assigned me a room and left me in peace for a little while. The room itself is bare, filled with nothing but a bed complete with a blanket, two empty cabients and a mirror. I can tell these are homes long forgotten, left waiting for their owners to return.

It is clear that they never did.

I can imagine it now, the familiar rooms being greeted by those who lived in them. Trinkets and treasured items cluttering the now desolate wooden drawers. Neatly folded clothes lining the inside of them. The stoic oak chair sitting coldly in the corner was likely once littered with discarded clothes, next to it a shoe rack lies empty- it's purpose lost. I turn my attention to the mirror, my pale face barely showing up. So many faces must have stood where I stand, looking into this mirror. Some asking themselves who they are, some trying to talk to themselves, others simply checking they looked ok. I wonder who lived here before me, why they never returned. I wonder what their sacrifice was for, if it was worth it in the end.

If their empty rooms and hallowed halls called for a victory or a mourning.

Now, standing where dozens before me have stood, I assess myself in the mirror.

Is it worth it? If I continue to fight, will I too leave behind an empty legacy? Who will miss me other than this room? Surely losing me is better than losing all this? Wouldn't Sam and Dean rather give up on me than risk losing everything?

I wish I could answer these questions. I wish I had a goddamn solution. I wish I could just run and hide somewhere He'll never find me.

I wish I could be strong enough to not think these things. I wish I could have faith in us that we will win this battle. I wish I knew who I was, so I could work out what to do. I wish I could be sure that I won't let my three new friends down.

I wish I was sure we would win.

But I'm not. How can I be? I shake my head, abruptly turning away from the mirror as I wipe my hand over face. I approach the bed, falling onto it and curling up on my side. I stare at the wall for a long time. It's a plain, cream coloured wall with nothing hung from it. But it's enough to occupy my time until there is a soft knock at my door. I mumble out some sort of acceptance before it gently opens to reveal Dean. He closes it quietly behind him as I look on. My heart still flutters when I see him and I want to kick myself for it. Once the door is closed, he is still, his hands still pressed against it as he looks at me. Our eyes meet and mine immediately water with the pain of suppressing it all. Slowly, I rise from the bed and take a few careful steps towards him. When I'm nearly toe to toe with him, I stop, leaving space between us. I can feel his breath as he just stands there, looking more vulnerable than he'd ever admit. I surge forward into his arms, startling him before he envelopes me in a hug. I pull back, holding onto his hand a dragging him to the bed, not caring if he wanted to come or not. I flop down on the bed and pull him down with me until he's lying on his side, facing me. One of his strong arms holds me and I snuggle into his chest, staring at his grey t-shirt.

"So, I lied to you before." I start. I feel Dean shift a little, but not pushing me away.

"I have a sister. She's normal, don't worry, I'm adopted. Either way, we always saw each other as sister. We fought with each other fiercely but loved each other with the same ferocity." I take a shaky breath, feeling Dean's arm tighten around me.

"We were roughly the same age, she was only a few months older. But that meant she could do everything before me. One day, she was on her way to the hospital the day mom died. Something went wrong in her car and she crashed." I pause again but push on before Dean can speak.

"She survived the crash but suffered serious head trauma. I was with her every day, she was all I had left. And when she finally, finally woke up, I looked into her eyes and saw nothing. She didn't know who I was, who anyone was. I told her mom was dead and she told me she was sorry for my loss. None of it meant anything to her." A stray tear leaks out of my eye and lightly hits the mattress, soaking into the fabric leaving nothing but a cold stain.

"I talked to the doctors who said it was unlikely she would ever regain her memory again. She had developed short term memory loss, which meant she remembered nothing from before the crash and then forgot everything that happened after it almost immediately after it happened. At first, when they put her in the home, I visited her every day. But I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't spend another day staring into my sister's blanks eyes while she repeatedly asked me who I was. So I ran and I never looked back. It's why I don't have much to my name, I just keep moving." I can't stop the tears now. The tears of sorrow, guilt and pain.

"You know I can't imagine what I'd do if that was Sammy." Dean's voice is gruff, emotional.

"We've had some close calls and I've lost him a few times and I…I don't know if I could carry on. In some ways, I guess that makes you stronger than me." I laugh a little at that, but not harshly.

"Dean I'm scared of moths." I point out, he sighs.

"You know what I meant." I nod against his chest, griping his shirt in my hands.

"We have a really big problem." I whisper gently to him.

"Yeah, it starts with 'L' and ends in 'Ucifer'" I let out a chuckle before growing serious again.

"That's true, but another problem on top of our Satan problem." I continue, my mind going numb as i wonder if I should say anything.

"Oh?" Is all he says. I take a deep breath, trying to move even closer to him.

"I think I like you." I say, deadly serious. I'm half joking, because I'm pretty sure he knows. But I also want him to understand that I'm falling for him. I need him to know that if he's going to push me away, here's his chance. He doesn't move or speak for a short while.

"I think I like you too."


	9. Chapter 9 - The Cost Of The Winchesters

_So, after crying all night because I lost this entire chapter and more, I decided to buck up and type it all again. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading! Things really take off in this chapter..._

* * *

Chapter Nine - The Cost Of The Winchesters

Dean and I remain in each others arms until he falls asleep. There's no windows in this room, so it's hard to know the time, but either way Dean's steady breathing suggests he's no longer with me. I take comfort in his form, but I'm too afraid to sleep, in case He reaches me again. I know Sam and Dean think I'm safe here, but there's no telling what will happen if I let him get to me here. He could ruin this whole place if my mind shows Him where I am. So I can't risk it, sleeping is too dangerous. So I don't sleep, I stay awake in fear.

After that night, Dean spends most of his time avoiding me. Every night I walk past his room and stop outside, trying to persuade myself to go in and talk to him, talking myself out of it every night. I proceed on down the hall to my own room, where I sit and waste away the night until my clock strikes 6am and I can get up. I spend mornings holding my head up, trying not to fall asleep face first in my Cheerios.

It's been five days since I first came to the Bunker. For five days, Dean has made sure we're never alone together. Since Cas is still MIA, Dean, Sam and I are the only one's in the Bunker, it's been tough for him to avoid me, but he manages, so I spend a lot of time with Sam. He tells me stories about their hunts, the wild rollercoaster of saving the world. Sometimes we read through the lore of different things. It's impressive just how much Sam really knows about it all. I read about all sorts of monsters, most I've never heard of, yet Sam knows it all - and usually has a story to accompany the facts. I haven't slept since the day I woke up with that bruise on my cheek. It's faded now, every morning I checked in the mirror in the hopes it would be gone and now it finally has. I take a lot of the books Sam shows me and read them at night. They're so fascinating, they usually take my mind off wanting to sleep. Once or twice I've had to resist curling up and passing out, but I know that sleeping is worse than staying up, so that thought keeps me well awake. Sam seems impressed at how fast I'm reading the books he shows me, though I'm pretty sure he's thinking I'm not actually reading them anymore. I haven't told Sam or Dean about not sleeping, it wasn't affecting me much after all.

It's the fifth day that gets me. I grab a glass out of the cupboard in the kitchen, intending to fill it with water. I reach over to turn the tap on when I notice the glass is shaking. I stare at it, confused, until I realise that my hand is also shaking. I step back and drop the glass in shock, not realising I'd let it go until it hit the floor. The transparent cup cracked open into smooth pieces of glass, scattering dangerously across the floor. Sam flies around the corner, shortly followed by Dean. At first, I just look at them wide eyed.

"What happened?" A slightly out of breath Sam asks me, observing the scene.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, I just…" I trail off, noticing Sam looking at me- no- _studying me._ I can see his eyes take in my shaking hands and pale face.

"You're bleeding." Dean points out and I follow his gaze to find a clean slice at the bottom of my calf, crimson liquid spilling gently out of it and down my leg.

"Oh." Is all I say, not believing that I didn't notice it. I look back up and notice that Sam's face has changed.

"When was the last time you went to sleep?" Dean looks to his brother, puzzled. I open my mouth but nothing much comes out.

"I…" Sam glares accusingly at me.

"You're shaking, you didn't notice you were hurt, the rate you're going through those books paired with the bags under your eyes? All signs suggest that you haven't been sleeping. When did you last sleep?" My resolve crumbles and I can't lie.

"I don't know. I, uh. Since I woke up in the motel…" I stop at the look on Sam's face.

"I'm going to patch up your leg, then you are going the Hell to sleep." I nod, finally acknowledging the toll it's taking on me. So I follow Sam to his room, where he bandages my leg and sends me off to bed. I stop outside of Dean's room, as always, but I notice he's not in there today. I shrug it off and toddle down the hall to my room, pushing the door open and entering. I notice Dean sat on the chair in the corner of my room as I close this door.

"To what do I owe this honour?" I offer sarcastically to the stubble ridden man.

"What the hell? You haven't been sleeping?" I go over to a pile and pull out a top to sleep in.

"No, I haven't." I retort stubbornly. I yank my top over my head and Dean puts his hands up, looking away as I change.

"Woah, woah." He shrieks. I sigh as I tug the top on and take my jeans off.

"Dean, we've had sex, don't clam up on me now." I tell him matter of fact. He ignore's this.

"Why haven't you slept?" His voice is softer now.

"Because!" I spin around to facing, meaning to be angry but not having it in me. "Because I am afraid. He can get to me there, Dean, he can get me." My voice manages to come out sounding pissed off but not as strong as I'd have liked.

"He can get you far better if you're dead from sleep deprivation and we can't save you!" Dean argues frustratedly. I throw up my hands but I concede.

"I'm just…I'm scared. I'm scared of what he can do, what he can say." I slowly sink to the floor, falling apart in front of the person I want to be most strong in front of.

"He scares me Dean, he's terrifying. You should see how sure he is that we'll lose. How _confident_ he is that he will win and I will be his. I just…It scares me." I offer him. Dean, to my surprise, moves onto the floor with me and sits next to me.

"I just hate this. My whole life has been messed up. Everything I've ever known has all changed. I don't know who I am anymore…What my name is, where I come from? I just don't know"

"Well, let's start with a name" he suggests gently.

"You pick"

"Me? It's your name"

"But you, Sam and Cas signify the only stable things left in my life. You're the most human thing I have right now. So if you give me a name, I'll always have something to hold onto"

"Woah, ok." he pauses to think about it.

"How about 'Star'" I look at him, eyebrows raised.

"Hell. No."

"I like Star" Dean says, sounding hurt.

"So does every stripper in the area code" He pulls a face, realising just why I don't like it. I smile despite my situation, finding comfort it in the burly man next to me.

"Ok, how about we just call you Lorelei?" Dean tries again but I shake my head.

"No. I don't want that name." I tell him.

"So, we can just shorten it. How about Lor? Or Lei? Or Relei?" Dean starts grasping at straws but I frown thoughtfully.

"I like Lei, but L-A-Y." I inform him.

"But your name is pronounced LoreL-I-E." He points out.

"I don't care, I like Lei." I say like a child. Dean just smiles a little.

"Lei it is, I'll tell Sammy." I nod happily and he helps me up off the floor.

"Now, Missy, I'm not leaving this room until you go to sleep. And if I don't leave, then I can't tell Sam your name." I give in, flopping into bed as he settles into the chair.

"Thanks Dean." I say, tucking away all my questions for when I'm not so exhausted.

"Goodnight."

* * *

I wake up to Sam shaking me and yelling frantically. There are alarms going off and behind him I can see flashing lights in the hallway.

"Whu? Sam? What?" I wipe my eyes and sit up.

"Grab the things you need, get dressed and follow me." He says, moving to the door and guarding it as I launch out of bed. I yank on a pair of jeans and shove some things in my bag before signalling to Sam that I'm ready. He speeds down the hallway and I follow quickly behind him.

"The hell is going on Sam?" I ask as we reach the main room. We slow to a stop and Sam spins around, handing me a knife and I gun. The look on his face suggests that now isn't the best time to tell him that I don't know how to use either.

"Demons, outside. They can't get in but-" There's an almighty crash from above us and I wince as the ceiling shakes a little.

"They're sure as hell trying." He finishes just as Dean shows up opposite us. I look at him and he glances at me before addressing Sam.

"What do we do man?" He asks, his face stressed. I watch them talk about running, abandoning their home and I can't take it.

"Just hand me over guys." They both spin to face me.

"The hell? _No."_ Dean says immediately, Sam's face echoing the thought. I nod, keeping my mouth shut. I look at the distance I'd have to run to get out. The boys are fast, and they're fitter than me, but with a head start I could probably beat them there. I back away as they discuss what to do and look down the hall, summoning my best horror movie scream. They both coming running and I point down the hall, Sam takes off in a sprint and Dean stands a little in front of me, watching his brother go, which is all I need. I throw myself into a run, bolting towards the stairs. I'm nearly at them when I hear a shout and footsteps coming after me. I reach the steps and launch up them, getting to the top as Dean makes it to the first step. I yank open the door and chuck myself out of it, slamming the it closed behind me and turning to face a group of surprised looking demons.

"Deal. You leave this place and these people alone and I will come with you." One of them laughs.

"You're in no position to be making demands honey." He tells me, I laugh.

"I have two pissed off Winchesters behind this door, and from what I hear, that's bad news for you guys." Suddenly the first one doesn't seem so cocky and the others look afraid.

"You got a deal." He nods his head and I see them movie the explosives from the floor towards their car.

"And if you even think of going back on that, I'll be sure to tell your boss how badly you treated me." The leader sneers at me but is clearly more scared of him than the Winchesters. He gestures to the car, showing he got the message and I approach the car. Just a reach them, the Bunker door bursts open to reveal the brothers stood in shock.

"Lei? What the hell are you doing?" The leader grabs my arm.

"We had a deal!" He hisses at me. I wrench my arm from him.

"Yes we did, I intend to fulfil it." I turn to address the boys now.

"Thank you, for everything, but I need to do this." Is all I say, before I turn to the men who came to get me.

"Nah, we ain't letting you do this." Dean's voice is firm and angry. I turn and look him square in the eyes, feeling a surge of sadness.

"Leave me alone." I tell them. With that, I get into the car. The leader yells something about the others holding them off. I know that the boys can handle them, so I let them as we drive away. We only drive for a couple of minutes when the car slows and the second in command turns to me.

"Sorry Princess." Is all he says as he grabs my hair, slamming my head in the car door. It's all I can do not to scream as blackness immediately blankets me, serving as my only protection.

* * *

When I wake up, I'm in chains. My arms are bound with heavy metal chains and my legs at tied up, so I'm stuck in a kneeling position. I look around, fear and devastation edging into my mind. Suddenly, a ominous laugh echoes around the large room and it bursts into light. Fire blazes across the room in front of me, dancing and unfurling in a twisted dance. Flames surround me, enveloping my hope and burning it in front off me. The achingly hot light in front of me dims slightly and a figure emerges through it.

"Hello Darling." An all to familiar voice invades my ears. He approaches me, his face twisted and terrifying as always. He reaches me, bending over so we're face to face. He kisses my nose affectionately, at the same time cutting open the side of my arm. I scream in pain, looking at the wound as blood pumps out of it.

"I've missed you so much." My eyes, wild with pain, meet his. They are filled with pride and promise.

"That's the price of being friends with the Winchesters." He sounds disapproving. I look at him, as confused as I can be with the pain my arm is causing me.

"Oh, Honey, don't you know? All of their friends end up dead. .Them. Consider yourself lucky that you're not." He sounds so casual, like he's gossiping over coffee.

"Mommy was the first, since then? Girlfriends, Daddy, Step Daddy, Friends, Family. All of them. Death comes to whoever they love. That's the cost of the Winchesters - it never ends well." He continues to taunt me as tears stream out of my eyes.

"Luckily, your knight in shining armour is here to save you." I would laugh if blood wasn't pouring out of me and I wasn't crying.

"Now!" He claps his hands together like an excited child.

"Let's have some fun."


	10. Chapter 10 - Come Back To Me

_Update. I'm officially a monster. I hope you survive this chapter. Warning: There's a non-graphic torture scene but if you want to skip it, don't read the first paragraph. Thanks!_

* * *

Chapter 10 - Come back to me

"Why are you doing this?" I yell at him over the flames.

"Because you're mine. And I prefer my possessions to be obedient." I look at him in horror.

"But…I'll be good! I'll do everything you ask, please, you don't have to do this!" I beg but he only smiles.

"Don't worry beautiful, I'll fix you up nice and good after we're done." I look at him in horror.

"No, no please. I…" Tears are already pouring down my face, my chest constricting with fright.

"I won't kill you, I just want to make a few changes to that spirit of yours." He smiles sadistically, so casual about the things that make my heart stop and my eyes water.

"Now, I'm going to ask you questions and you're going to answer. If you get them right, you get a point." He pauses. "But points don't mean anything in my game. Ready?" I try to see past the pain in my arm, looking at him in a desperate attempt to reach any dregs of humanity in him.

"Ok, first question, what's your name?" The worst part is, I'm not sure.

"Uh, Lorelei." My voice is quiet. He places the point of the knife on the left side of my collar bone and drags it down, not deep but enough to make blood emerge.

"What was that?" He asks happily, pleased with the power he has.

"Lorelei!" I shout it this time, making sure he can hear me.

"Good girl." He acts impressed, causing a surge of hatred flow through my body.

"Next. Who do you love?" I frown, what does he mean?

"My mum, my dad, my sis-!" I cut myself off with a scream when he punches me across the face. I can feel blood pool in my mouth and I spit it out, causing it to splatter on my clothes and face.

"You are just _so_ sexy." He mocks as I look at him disgustedly.

"Try again. Who do you love?" Now I know what he wants me to say, but even thinking the words make me want to vomit. So I don't answer. This leads to a punch to my gut, knocking the air out my lungs painfully.

" _Try. Again._ " His voice is hard and close to my ear - full of threats he intends to fulfil.

"You." I almost gag on the word, struggling to get it out due to the lack of oxygen in my body. He nods, satisfied.

"Who do you _belong_ to?" His voice makes me nauseous, but I'm armed with an answer this time.

"You." He claps his hands together, making the sound of a proud mum.

"You're learning!" I spit out more blood, trying to aim for him but missing miserably.

"Now tell me, what do you think of the Winchesters?" He sounds curious, like he actually gives a damn.

"I…" I gasp for breath but don't dare not answer. "I don't know?" It's hard to know what he wants me to say.

"Wrong." He sounds frustratedly bored, grabbing hold of my upper arm and yanking it. A scream is ripped from my body, pain searing through my violently.

"Nononononono, please, please." I'm not sure what I'm begging for, I can't see past the black edging into my vision.

"Am I _that boring?_ You're falling asleep!" He cuts me again, knocking back to black invading my sight. He continues this, until there's not a part of my body with at least one slice in it.

"That's enough for now." He sounds proud, like he's thinking this is a job well done.

"I'll see you later." The words echo around my mind the whole time, even when I'm unconscious. Knowing that there's more to come.

That it isn't over yet.

* * *

Time has lost all meaning. Minutes feel like hours, and unless there's thousands of hours in each day, several days have passed. I think. There's no way to know. He comes in, tears me apart bit by bit and then he leaves. Later, though God knows how much later, he comes back in and starts it all over again. I know that I'm drenched in blood. When I can manage to open my eyes, I can see it coating my skin like a layer of clothing. I wonder how I still have enough blood left to be alive. For a while, he insisted I kept my eyes open, that I watched him. But around nine sessions in, I closed my eyes and they haven't opened with him around since. For a long while I would scream Cas' name, hoping beyond hope that he would hear me. But good ol' Satan didn't like it, so he taped my mouth shut so all I could do was release muffled screams. So I would scream it in my head instead, begging for him to find me and save me. Then it became me begging for him to find me and kill me. Now, I've given up. He's just finished the latest session, I watch him stride happily away from me, entertained for now. And I dare to pray. I reach far, far down inside me for a sliver of hope and I cling to it for a few short moments.

 _Please, Castiel. Please find me and end this._

I tried praying to God once or twice before, but pretty early on I realised that God wasn't listening. It was all I could do to beg and pray that Cas could hear me somehow, that they were looking for me.

But soon, so soon, that tiny glimmer of hope would be snuffed out.

I just beg that I die before it does.

* * *

From Dean's Point Of View

When she goes, Sam and I both blame ourselves. We should've known, should've realised that she would run. We shoulda known how stupid selfless she can be. We should've stopped her. But like idiots, we failed. It took nothing to mow down those few minions, but she was long gone once we did. We prayed to Cas, he came and we've been hunting her down ever since.

"We need a plan, ok? An idea!" Sam insists to Cas and I across the table.

"We have a plan." I tell him gruffly.

"Do we? Because, Dean, from where I'm standing, torturing a bunch of demons who either have no clue what we're talking about or who would rather _die_ then tell us the truth - that's not working for us." He's right, of course he's right. But what else do we do. I look to Cas, for signs that he agrees with Sam. But his brow is furrowed and I can tell he's not with us. I sigh. Cas has been helping us look for Lei for weeks with no break, I feel bad that we've been so hard on him. I also look to Sam, whose lack of sleep is evident by the bags under his eyes, the way his jaw is set and his jittering legs.

 _What if we never find her?_ I ask myself, not even for the first time. It's the voice in the back of my head that will kill me if I let it.

"Sam, Dean." Cas' voice is sudden and urgent. My head snaps to him, seeing that he's already up on his feet.

"She, she prayed to me. It was quiet but I heard it. It's so faint but I have a general location." I stare at him in disbelief. After all this time, she's finally broken through. We figured there'd be angel wards everywhere around wherever He's keeping her, so we thought contacting Cas was out of the question.

"Wait, are you sure? But how?" The words spill out of my mouth before I can think what to say.

"Someone or something must've broken one of the wards, allowing Cas to hear Lei." Sam's quick thinking answers my questions.

"We have to hurry, her voice was weak. I'm afraid we can't leave her much longer." We all know what he's implying, but none of us want to say it.

"Then let's go. Now, where is she Cas?" My head is buzzing and I can barely process the words I just said, let lone Cas' answer. We have to find her and put an end to this. I don't know how the hell we'll take Lucifer down, but we'll do it.

We have to.

* * *

From Lorelei's Point Of View

On the bright side, I'm no longer chained up. Lucifer took off the cuffs when he realised there was nothing in me left to fight. My legs are still tied up so I can't run and my wrists are chafed to hell, but somehow I'm still breathing. Barely.  
The gaps between the beatings are longer now. I don't know if it's because he's busy, given up or if it's to prolong the suffering. In some ways, since I scream a lot, it's nice to hear nothing for once. But I'm just _waiting_ for the next time he decides to cut me up or break a finger. He asks the same questions.

Except this time I know the answers.

 _Sam. Dean. Castiel._

I have to say their names to myself so I remember them. A few times, I've almost forgotten.

But they always come back to me.

I don't expect them to come for me anymore. It was stupid to ever think they would. Foolish. Lucifer was right. He was always right.

There's an unfamiliar shoving sound to my left, echoing from one side of the, what I believe to be, warehouse. Had I been in different circumstances, being alone in such an empty, creepy place would have frightened me. Unsurprisingly, not much is scary when you see the Devil everyday. I force my eyes open, wincing at how much effort is needed for a simple task. All it takes is a glance at the pools of blood, old and new, across the floor and I want to puke. I hear another sound, this time a grunt, and my eyes slowly flit to the door. It slams open, letting in light I haven't seen in an age. A figure blocks out the harshness of the daylight, standing in the doorway. I can't see what they're doing or what they do next, as my eyes close against my demand. I hope whoever it is has come to kill me. I can hear footsteps, lots of them. The sounds bounces off the walls, so I can't tell if it's two or two thousand people coming in. I assume they aren't here for me, that they're waiting for Lucifer. I'm surprised when I hear a gasp and a whisper.

"Lei?" Someone says. I'm not responsive. Why would I be?

"Oh God, oh god." Another voice says. I flinch as a hand touches my cheek. My eyes flutter open in shock of the contact. I barely see three faces staring at me in horror. It can't be real. My throat is so dry, I can't speak to tell them that. As if they hear me, a cool liquid finds it's way to my mouth and down my throat. I gasp and wince as I swallow the water. It awkwardly soothes my throat.

"Leave." I manage to get out, causing the water to drip down me.

"What?" The voice sounds confused.

"You're not here." I tell them confidently. My eyes can't focus on them, they're too far away.

"It's us! Cas heard you, we heard you." One of the faces comes closer, studying me.

"Cas?" I choke out, still unable to look at them properly.

"We're here." His grave voice is close to my ear.

"No, it can't be." Their response is cut off by me promptly heaving up the water I just drank. I feel like I'm falling, darkness clouding my already weak vision as bile forces it's way out of me.

"Please." A desperate voice whispers. "Come back to me."

* * *

When I wake up, I haven't moved far. The rope around my legs has been cut but I'm still where I was when I passed out. Voices become more and more clear as my head becomes less groggy. The dull pain that's always there hasn't gone away, but I'm used to it by now.

"The damage is too much, Dean, it'll take a while to heal. I can't fix it all now." Says one voice, his tone calmly tense.

"We need to focus on getting her out of here. How much can you heal now Cas." Says another, their voice sounds practical and worried. There's no answer for a few moments.

"I don't know. I can try to heal her as much as possible, without disabling myself." There's a shuffling and I can hear footsteps move closer to me. I start to panic, trying to move away.

"Sam, Dean, she's awake." I freeze, worried I've screwed myself over.

"Lei?" Says a gentle voice, I do nothing.

"Lei, It's Sam, Dean and Cas. It's us." My eyes shoot open.

"Sam. Dean. Cas." I repeat. I've said those words so many times. But I can barely remember the people attached to them.

"Yeah, yes, it's us." I stare in disbelief.

"You can't be real. You're here? You came for me?" My words are a little jumbled, but I hope they understand.

"I'm so sorry. We took too long to find you." A hard voice sounds, close by. I move my eyes a little to look at a tall, stubble ridden man with his jaw set.

"Dean?" I can't believe this. This has to be some twisted trick, there's no way they could actually come for me.

"Yes, it's me." Something isn't right, this isn't possible.

"How did you find me?" I ask, but to no prevail.

"There's no time for that, we've gotta get out of here - Cas." He signals to the angel, who places his hands on me. My body starts numbing, like all of me simultaneously got pins and needles. He stops after about a minute, breathing hard.

"You should be able to move now." He informs me and I test it out. I begin by wiggling my feet, then moving my legs and hands. I slowly sit up, feeling dizzy. Cas, who is kneeling beside me, puts a hand on my shoulder to steady me. I cast him a small smile.

"Thank you." Just as I start to get up, the door swings open and another person strides confidently in.

"Oh god, you have to run - You have to run." My voice escalates, so I'm nearly screaming.

"I think you'll find that hard." Lucifer clicks his fingers and I can't move. It's like I'm glued to the floor.

"Y'know, Honey, I thought we were getting somewhere. But I leave for a few hours and you're ready to betray me. Looks like I'll have to be a little tougher." Although I'm being held up, I sag and start to cry. There's barely any fight in me anymore.

"Uh, uh. You have to learn." It's only then I notice that he's dragging something across the floor with his hand. He clicks again and suddenly lights flicker on, burning my eyes. I scream when my eyes adjust and I can see him properly. In his hands, held by the hair, is my sister.

"No." I scream, the tendrils of fear clutching my heart. Amy looks at me, silently screaming and her eyes crazed with fear.

"Consider this a lesson, darling." He says is calmly, dragging up her head.

"No please god no, Kill me! Kill anyone else please not her" I'm still sobbing loudly, continuing to scream every word.

"No. I've had enough. I've been too kind." He sounds like he actually believes it.

"Amy! It'll be ok, it'll be fine just close your eyes ok, don't look." She stares at me, terrified, but does as I say. I put my head in my hands, screaming and crying uncontrollably. My head is forced up against my will and I can't close my eyes.

"No God, why, no. I can't do this I can't-" I freeze, watching in perfect horror and he grabs her head and twists it. My sister crumbles to the floor. I release a sorrowful wail that echoes around my head. The hold on me is gone and I fall to the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Amy, I'm sorry that I'm still here without you. I'm so sorry that I left you, that I gave up on you. That I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry I can't tell you what you died for. I'm sorry it was you and not me. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm-" I crawl toward her, tears streaming wildly down my cheeks.

"Lei, no." I hear Sam call, but I keep moving towards her body.

"Please Amy, come back I…We can start again, I won't abandon you I would never abandon you-" Dean gently grabs my shoulders, lifting me from the ground.

"NO! I CAN'T LEAVE HER AGAIN I WON'T-" Dean continues to pull me away as I scream and fight to reach my sister. I turn and start punching his chest.

"I wish you'd never come. You ruined my life. This is all our fault. My sister is dead and I'm still here. Just leave." As if by magic, Dean let's me go and I am punching the air. I open my eyes and stumble back when I realise that Dean isn't there anymore. I hear laughter and I spin around.

"Did you actually think they'd come and save you? Did you _really think that they still care?_ " I wince in pain at his words.

"It was all a trick and you fell for it." I collapse to the ground.

"My sister?" I whisper, not sure if he can hear.

"Oh, that bit was real." He sounds like he feels awkward. I look at him in horror.

"I had to know, I had to see if you'd still betray me. I got my answer and you got your punishment. She would still be alive if you didn't pick the Winchesters over her." He moves towards the door, laughing the entire time.

"Stupid girl. They won't come back to you. And neither will your sister."


End file.
